Overview

A name is something your child will carry with them for life. It is a reflection of identity, culture, and sometimes family history. With endless options, pressures from family and friends, and trends that come and go, how do you pick the right one? This episode walks you through everything you should consider when choosing a name and provides tips to help you find the perfect fit, from brainstorming to narrowing down your list to the perfect name. Whether you have had a baby name picked out since you were a kid or are still staring at a blank list at 38 weeks, this episode will help you be confident in your name choice.

Listen Now

Article and Resources

The Importance of a Name

Finding the right name for your baby is a big decision many expecting parents struggle with. A name isn’t just a label. It is the first gift you give your child and something they will carry for the rest of their life. A name can influence how the world will know your child and shape how they see themselves.

Research shows that names influence first impressions and can communicate information about ethnicity, class, education, and religion. Many studies demonstrate that your name plays a part in how you are perceived when you meet someone new or when someone views your name for anything from a job application to a dating profile.

When to Choose a Name

Discussing baby names is often one of the first things expecting parents consider. Knowing what you will call your baby from the start would be nice. If you haven’t nailed this down, you have a lot of time during your pregnancy to find the right one. If you are stressing that you have not identified the perfect name, take a break from searching. Keep a note on your phone or a page in a notebook where you can keep a running list of possible names to add to as you venture through your pregnancy.

In the worst-case scenario, if you are having trouble deciding, you can wait until your baby is born. Most hospitals or birth centers will ask for your baby’s name when filling out birth certificate paperwork. They can temporarily list the baby as “Baby [Last Name]” until you provide an official name. In the United States, most states require a name to be submitted within a few days to six weeks after birth. In the United Kingdom, parents have six weeks to register a birth. In Canada and Australia, the time frame varies by province, but it’s generally 30 to 60 days. While putting this off until the last minute may not be ideal, you have time. If you wait, be aware that missing a deadline may require additional paperwork and fees.

Ideas and Inspiration

If you are looking for ideas and inspiration, there are endless resources of potential names for your baby. Let’s start with brainstorming and finding ideas and inspiration for potential baby names.

Brainstorming Strategies

In the brainstorming phase, start making a list of names that stand out to you. This can be on a note on your phone or a sheet in a notebook. If you think of a name that appeals to you, write it down so you remember it and can refer back to your list. Don’t dismiss a name in the early phase just because it doesn’t feel like the one. If you like it, keep it on your list. A name may grow on you over time.

Baby Name Books

There are many books on baby names. In our digital world, taking a break from screens and looking at a physical book can be a nice change of pace. Rather than spending endless hours scrolling online, you can pick up a book for a few minutes. You can also highlight or bookmark names you like to share with your partner. If you are looking for a physical book on baby names, here are some recommendations:

• The Baby Name Wizard
• The Complete Book of Baby Names
• The Name Book

Baby Name Websites

If you prefer to keep your search digital, here are some of the top websites on baby names:

• BabyNames.com
• Nameberry
• Baby Names in the United States (Social Security Administration)

AI-Generated Baby Names

Artificial intelligence tools like ChatGPT, xAI Grok, Google Gemini, and Microsoft Copilot can be a great way to generate baby name ideas. If you have not explored AI tools, this is the perfect opportunity to check them out.

Knowing how to structure your search and refine your prompts is the key to getting great results from these tools. You could ask for a general list of baby names. A better approach is to provide specific constraints to narrow down the options. Instead of just asking for baby name ideas, you can include details like:

• Style – Classic, modern, unique, vintage, nature-inspired, etc.
• Length – Short names (Max, Ava) vs. longer names (Alexander, Isabella).
• Cultural Influence – French, Irish, Scandinavian, biblical, etc.
• Starting or Ending Letters – Names that start with “L” or end in “-son.”
• Popularity – Well-known vs. rare or unranked names.
• Gender-Neutral or Gender-Specific – Names that work across genders or lean one way.

Even if the first reply doesn’t yield great results, I encourage you to refine it further by adding more details. You can specify which names you like or dislike, ask to remove specific names, or provide other feedback to get closer to identifying the right name.

If you are new to using AI, talk to it as you would if you were chatting with a person. These AI tools are large language models designed to process and generate human-like text based on vast amounts of data, including books, articles, websites, and other text sources. They are all built on understanding, predicting, and generating coherent language in response to user input and are fantastic brainstorming tools.

Other Sources of Inspiration

If you are searching for a baby name, you start paying closer attention to names you come across everywhere. If you want more inspiration, check out the credits at the end of movies, shows, or the artists on your Spotify playlists. You can also think about names of things that may not be traditionally thought of as a baby name. This could be things from nature like River, Ocean, or Sage. You could take inspiration from space with a name like Orion, Nova, or Celest.

Factors to Consider When Choosing a Name

Whether you are in the brainstorming phase, have narrowed your options down to a few, or think you know your baby’s name, you may want to consider some things before finalizing your choice.

Legalities of Naming Your Baby

No matter where you live, there are some restrictions on what you can legally name your baby.

Banned Names

Rules on banned names vary by country, and most have laws that names cannot be obscene or offensive. The United States has relatively relaxed laws regarding what you can name your baby, and rules vary by state. However, some names are banned nationwide. Examples of prohibited names include King, Queen, Jesus Christ, Santa Claus, Messiah, and Adolf Hitler. When an attempt to name a baby is rejected, the name ends up on the banned list. Mexico will not allow the name Robocop. In New Zealand, you can’t name your baby Sex Fruit or Chief Maximus. Italy bans the names Friday and Blue. In the U.K., you cannot name your baby Cyanide or Monkey. For most parents, these restrictions are not an issue. If you plan to get creative and a little wild with your child’s name, you may consider checking the laws to ensure it will be allowed.

Limitations on Characters, Numbers, and Symbols

Some states limit names to a specific number of characters. For example, New York only allows 30 characters per first or middle name. Many states ban using numbers, although some states, like Illinois and South Carolina, will allow you to include a number in your child’s name.

Some states restrict the use of diacritical marks like accents or tildes or do not allow hyphens or apostrophes. This is primarily due to limitations in their vital records systems. Louisiana requires names to consist only of letters from the standard English alphabet. Hawaii and Alaska permit the use of symbols and diacritical marks. If you are considering using letters with diacritical marks, it is important to know that U.S. passports can include apostrophes and hyphens but not accented characters. If your child’s name has a letter with an accent, the accent will not appear on their passport. It is possible that down the road, this can cause issues in official and legal processes because the name on their passport may not match other documents. For more information on naming rules and restrictions by state, check out this link.

Meaning and Significance

Many names carry some meaning or significance. Some parents love names with deep cultural or religious significance, while others prefer names inspired by nature, literature, or even favorite places.

Biblical names like Ethan (meaning “strong” or “firm”) and Sophia (meaning “wisdom”) have been widely used across different cultures. Similarly, names from various religious texts, such as Noah, Isaiah, Fatima, or Krishna, hold spiritual significance for many families. Some parents choose names that honor saints, prophets, or deities, reinforcing a connection to their faith. Although every name has some meaning, you cannot assume everyone will know that. Even if the meaning or significance is not widely known, it can still hold importance for you.

Cultural and Family Considerations

Culture, family history, and traditions play a significant role in choosing a name for many families. Some parents pass down family names from generation to generation, while others prefer to start fresh. In some cultures, names are influenced by astrology, numerology, or traditional naming ceremonies. If you or your partner have any cultural considerations that are important to you, discuss them early on. If you come from a multicultural background, you might want to choose a name that works well in multiple languages. For example, names like Lucas and Mia are easily recognized across different cultures.

Some parents also take an aspect of a family name and slightly modify it. That could be taking a mother’s maiden name and using it as a middle name. You could adapt a grandparent’s name to a more modern version, like changing Eleanor/Elle or Leonard/Leo.

Many families pressure expecting parents to continue certain traditions. If your baby’s father is a Jr., you may consider passing on the name to your son and making him the third. Ultimately, you and your partner must agree on which cultural or family traditions are important to you. Regardless of pressure or influence from other family members, you must do what you feel is right for your baby.

Nicknames

Some names naturally come with nicknames. Alexander or Alexandra may be shortened to Alex. Many Williams go by Bill, although it has become more popular to shorten William to Will or Liam. Think about whether you like the possible shortened versions of your chosen name. For example, if you like Jenelle, this could be shortened to Jen or Elle. This could be intentional from the beginning or a possibility if your child prefers other variations down the road.

Gender Neutral Names

In recent years, more parents have chosen gender-neutral names. Examples include Morgan, Alex, Quinn, and Taylor. There is an idea called the default male bias, which states that there is a bias toward assuming that a person of unspecified sex is a male. If a resume comes across an employer’s desk with the name Alex, they will likely assume Alex is male. Although employers should not discriminate based on gender, it is always a possibility. If your child has a gender-neutral name, the default male bias effect could work for or against them, depending on the particulars of the situation. Of course, there are other cues besides your child’s name, but if you name your daughter Alex, some people will assume Alex is a boy solely going off the first name.

Popularity and Trends

Name trends change over time. If you look at the top baby names from 20 years ago, you will see a lot of hugely popular names then, but they are not as common today. Some parents love classic names that never go out of style, like James or Elizabeth. Other parents prefer modern, unique names to help their children stand out. No matter how unique you think a name is, it is a big world; at some point, your child will meet someone with the same name. One study found that more familiar names are generally associated with higher status. Rare names were rated as lower class, particularly for women.

Unfortunately, it is impossible to predict whether a name will go out of style and become undesirable in the future. In the 1980s, Kevin was a popular name among working-class families in Germany and Austria. Kevinism is a sociolinguistic phenomenon and the name Kevin is associated with negative stereotypes of low social status and poor education. Studies have shown that teachers and employers often unconsciously discriminate against individuals with this name. Comparable biases exist in other countries with names like “Chad” or “Britney.”

There is a similar phenomenon with the name Karen. This became a meme and cultural stereotype representing an entitled, middle-class, white woman who is overly demanding, rude to service workers, or prone to calling the manager. As a result, the popularity of the name Karen has plummeted in recent years. Of course, you cannot know what the future holds for a name; you can only pick the name that is the right fit now.

The most popular names in 2024:

Rank	Male	Female	Gender-Neutral
1	Theodore	Violet	Rowan
2	Oliver	Charlotte	Sage
3	Silas	Amelia/Emilia	Willow
4	Declan	Aurora	Ezra
5	Lucas/Lukas	Juniper	Noah
6	Felix	Hazel	Jade
7	August	Aria/Arya	Avery
8	Henry	Eloise	Charlie
9	Liam	Eleanor	Eden
10	Owen	Maeve	Kai

Middle Name

In addition to choosing a first name, most parents give their child a middle name. This can be an opportunity to honor a family member, carry on a tradition, or incorporate a meaningful name that did not make the cut for the first name. Others choose a middle name simply because they like it and it sounds good with the first and last name. A middle name can also provide flexibility, giving your child an alternative name to use later in life if they prefer it over their first name. You also have the option to omit a middle name or have two middle names if you cannot decide on one. If you choose more than one middle name, keep in mind some jurisdictions have total character limits on names. Official documents (i.e., passports, driver’s licenses, or medical records) may only display one middle name or initial.

Last Name

In the U.S., some states have rules about your baby’s last name. In many states, like Mississippi, when the parents are married at the time of their child’s birth, the baby automatically takes the father’s surname unless a different name is requested. In Louisiana, the law mandates that if the mother is not married within 300 days before the birth, the baby’s surname shall be the maiden name or surname of the mother or a combination of the surname of the biological father and the maiden name or surname of the mother.

For some families, deciding on a last name is simple, with the child automatically taking one parent’s surname. It can be more complex for others, especially with hyphenated names, blended families, or parents with different last names. Although it is most common in the United States for children to take their father’s last name, you can always choose to do things differently. Other options are to give your child the mother’s last name and hyphenate the last names. You could also use one parent’s last name as a middle name to honor both family lines.

Testing a Potential Name

Once you have some potential names, you should check some things and test them to ensure they fit your family.

Initials

First, consider what your child’s initials will be. You should put first, middle, and last initials together to ensure they don’t spell something unfortunate, like P.I.G. or B.A.D. Some families name their kids with names starting with the same letter, like the Kardashians. Some names can also be shortened to a nickname after the first letter; my closest friends call me V. Interestingly, there is evidence that individuals prefer the letters in their names over other letters in the alphabet. This is known as the name-letter effect.

How It Fits Within Your Family
As you think about names, consider how they fit with your last name and the names of others in your family, especially siblings. If you already have a daughter named Kate, you may not want to name your son Nate because the two names sound very similar. Saying the name out loud with the other names in your family is a great way to see how natural it feels. Does it flow well? Does it work with your last name?

Associations
When choosing a name, it’s essential to consider the associations it may carry. Some names immediately bring to mind celebrities, historical figures, fictional characters, or cultural references, which can shape how others perceive them. While this might not be an issue, it’s worth considering whether a name’s strong connection aligns with your feelings.

For example, Elon is widely associated with Elon Musk, which could be seen as a positive or negative connection depending on personal views. Similarly, names like Lincoln (Abraham Lincoln), Ariel (The Little Mermaid), and LeBron (LeBron James) are so strongly linked to well-known figures that they may carry built-in expectations or assumptions. If a name you love has a strong association, consider whether that connection enhances its appeal or if it might be something your child would have to navigate throughout their life.

Pronunciation

Think about how a potential name sounds. Is it easy to pronounce? Will people commonly mispronounce it? Many names have multiple pronunciations. For example, if you name your child Andrea, do you prefer it pronounced as ‘ANN-dree-uh’ (with emphasis on the first syllable) or ‘ahn-DRAY-uh’ (with emphasis on the second)? Will it bother you if people mispronounce it? If you anticipate that people mispronouncing your child’s name will be bothersome, ensure you choose a name with no ambiguity over how it is said.

How easy a name is to pronounce can affect how your child is perceived. There is evidence that the pronounceability of a name influences perceptions of credibility. People are more likely to believe statements from a source with an easy-to-pronounce name. Easier-to-pronounce names were consistently rated as more familiar, less risky, and less dangerous than difficult-to-pronounce names.

Spelling
Some names, like Catherine/Katherine or Sarah/Sara, have multiple common spellings. Some parents choose an unusual spelling to make a name feel unique. Examples of unique spellings are Aimee instead of Amy or Jaxson instead of Jackson. The downside is that it may also cause frustration if people frequently get it wrong either to you as a parent or to your child as they get older. Like all of these considerations, these are not rules, simply things to be aware of. If you are open to it, you can explore alternative spellings for names you like.

Future Implications

Names do not just define childhood; they carry into adulthood. A cute name for a baby might not feel as fitting for a grown adult. Try imagining your child introducing themselves as an adult in different situations, like in a job interview or on a wedding invitation. Does the name still feel like the right fit? Some names can have more playful nicknames when your child is young, with the option to transition to a more formal name as they age. One example is the name Theodore and variations like Teddy, Theo, or Ted.

Will People Make Fun of Your Child’s Name?

You may wonder if other kids will make fun of your child’s name. The short answer is yes. Some kids will make fun of your child’s name at some point, no matter what you name your child. Some names may require more creativity to make fun of than others. When I was a kid, there was a time when I was teased as Vanessa Vagina. The only reason I can think of is that both start with the letter V. It was short-lived, and I wasn’t traumatized by it. Now I find it funny. As a silly exercise, you and your partner can devise creative ways to make fun of potential names. Hopefully, you get a few laughs. You may discover a reason to cross it off your list, but you may not and decide to move forward with it.

Partner and Outside Input

If you have a partner, you must decide on a name together. This can be difficult if the two of you cannot agree. Even if you have different ideas of the right name for your baby now, you will eventually agree, but it may take time.

One strategy is to keep a list of possible names so you can compare and see if any of the names on your lists overlap. Some couples give each other a limited amount of vetos, and one person can veto a name without any explanation. You can also compromise; one can choose the first name, and the other can choose the middle name.

When it comes to family and friends, everyone will have an opinion on a baby’s name. While suggestions may be helpful, you can also kindly ask that people do not give you suggestions if you feel overwhelmed by outside input. If you have a potential name picked out and share it, be prepared for positive and negative feedback.

Keeping Your Baby’s Name a Secret

Some parents choose not to share their baby’s name until after the birth, and there are pros and cons to keeping this a secret. A downside is that this can be a challenging secret to keep, and there is the possibility you share it by accident. Some expecting parents like to share the name early to stake a claim on it within their family or friend group. If you keep it a secret, you may have someone else close to you who also wants to name their baby the same thing. Some parents enjoy seeing the name on personalized items like nursery decorations, baby blankets, or keepsakes, which can’t be done in advance if it’s a secret. You might overlook pronunciation difficulties, unusual spellings, or negative associations others could point out. Some friends or family members may feel left out that they are not included and pressure you to share it.

There are also benefits of keeping your baby’s name a secret. One is that it allows you and your partner to share something special just between the two of you. You have many people asking very personal questions during pregnancy, and it may be nice to have one aspect that is not public. Another benefit is that you avoid feedback, especially negative feedback. People in your life may not love your baby’s name. If you tell them beforehand, they will likely share this with you. If you wait until your baby is born, they will likely keep their negative thoughts to themselves. Not sharing your baby’s name also avoids awkwardness if you change your mind and decide to go with something else. Plus, waiting to announce your baby’s name can also add excitement when you announce that they have arrived.

Waiting Until Your Baby is Born to Finalize a Name

Some parents wait until their baby is born to finalize a name. What if you plan to name your daughter Sofia when she arrives, she just doesn’t look like a Sofia? This feeling may be linked to the bouba-kiki effect. This is a psychological phenomenon where people naturally associate certain sounds with specific shapes. The idea is that the word “bouba” is associated with rounder forms and “kiki” with sharper, more angular ones. Applied to naming, this suggests that some names may feel more fitting for certain facial features, which could explain why parents sometimes feel their baby is born with a look that suits a particular name. Waiting until your baby is born can also be a strategy if you are stuck between a few great choices. Once you meet your baby, you and your partner may feel more strongly about one name over another.

However, another interesting concept, the face-name matching effect, may debunk this theory. Studies show that humans and machine learning algorithms can examine a picture of an unfamiliar face and accurately select the person’s actual name from a list at a rate higher than chance. The proposed explanation for the face-name matching effect is that stereotypical expectations of how we should look according to our name may eventually manifest in our facial appearance.

One study tested both the bouba-kiki and the face-name matching effect. Researchers suggest that the connection between faces and social perceptions may work both ways, shaping and being shaped by societal expectations. From the moment we are born, we are influenced not only by gender, ethnicity, and socioeconomic status but also by the name we are given. The takeaway is that the name you choose for your child will become an integral part of their identity. Whether you believe that a baby’s face naturally suits a particular name or that they will grow into the expectations associated with it, research suggests that names and identity are deeply intertwined.

Trusting the Process of Choosing a Name

There are countless ways to approach choosing a baby name, and there is no one-size-fits-all method. You might keep a running list, ask for opinions from friends and family, or decide to keep the name a secret until birth. If you haven’t found the perfect name yet, don’t worry. You may need more time to stumble across the right one. While it’s natural to want to check this decision off your list, sometimes stepping back and giving yourself space can make the process feel less overwhelming. The perfect name might come to you when you least expect it. Trust that when you find the right name, it will click.

The Only Rule That Matters

With so many dos and don’ts floating around about baby names, let me simplify it for you. The only rule that truly matters is that you and your partner love the name. That’s it. It doesn’t matter what your friends, family, or anyone else thinks. If the name feels right to you, then it’s the perfect fit. Names carry meaning, personality, and a lifetime of identity, but ultimately, your child will make their name their own. Trust your instincts, enjoy the process, and choose a name that makes you happy.

Thank you to the amazing companies that have supported this episode.