Overview
Breastfeeding is commonly thought of as something that comes naturally once your baby is born. For a small number of mothers, this may be true, but for the majority of new moms, the truth is that breastfeeding takes work and dedication. I am in my second season of breastfeeding, and I have learned a lot. Many things I learned the hard way. In this episode, I share those lessons with you to hopefully save you from some of my mistakes and let you in on some of the changes I made with breastfeeding the second time around.
Become a Pregnancy Podcast Premium member or log in to access all articles and episodes ad-free.
Hi Vanessa,
Thanks for this episode. I think it’s important to talk about challenges and that they CAN be overcome. I agree with most everything you said in this episode, especially about feeding the baby at night. Yes, it would be “easier” if my partner fed the baby at night, but that would mean the hassle of pumping at some other time during the day, or while he’s feeding the baby. Which seems totally not worth it! There is one point that in my own experience (caveat that I’m a FTM and only have one data point) that I disagree with. We introduced a bottle at 4 weeks because I had an appointment that couldn’t be rescheduled. After that appointment, we didn’t re-introduce the bottle until 8 weeks at the recommendation of a neonatal nurse friend of mine and my baby absolutely would NOT eat from the bottle (I mean, breastfeeding is pretty great. If I had the choice, I wouldn’t want to eat from the bottle either!). It took us trying every single day for 6 weeks to have her eat from the bottle for her to finally accept it again readily.
I’m back at work now and am lucky enough to have a job that allows me to work from home on Fridays, so my daughter is exclusively breastfed from Friday-Sunday, with one bottle on Sundays. We found that if she only ate from the breast for those 3 days, come Monday when she would need to eat from the bottle, it was a real challenge for the caregiver. Of course, she isn’t going to starve herself, but she might be super grouchy until she finally decides she’s ready to eat from the bottle. So, we started doing one bottle the day prior so she can be “used to it” to make Monday easier. I usually pump during one of her naps on Sunday, so the milk is ready for her when she wakes up.
I just wanted to share my experience in case others have similar experience or questions around this! Anyway, I love all the work you do—you definitely helped ease my mind and give me so many good resources (Kelly Mom and the LLL are life savors!) as I prepped for this life-changing experience!
Cheers,
Sara
Sara, thank you for sharing your experience!
Hi Vanessa,
I’m pregnant with my second and just finished this episode. I really appreciate all the additional episodes that you have on breastfeeding that were not available my first time around. I understand you may be sharing your personal lessons learned on breastfeeding but I just wanted to raise 2 points of disagreement based on my personal experience breastfeeding my first.
1) I don’t feel as if there was a lack of support towards exclusive breastfeeding for me. In fact, I think there was a overwhelmingly strong emphasis on exclusive breastfeeding to the point that it can be detrimental to mothers. I also read the Womanly Art….and it’s actually not a book a recommend to mothers anymore because of this heavy emphasis towards exclusive breastfeeding. I went into motherhood with a goal to exclusive breastfeed, and when I was unable to do so because of lack of supply, among many other issues, it led to spiraling into postpartum depression.
2) “If there’s a name for it, there’s a way to fix it.” Definitely do not agree with this one. I’m trying to keep this comment short, so sparing you the details. My ultimate “fix” to my supply issue after trying everything else, was domperidone. A medication that is banned in the United States but is safer than US approved Reglan. I jumped through hoops to get access to this. Not everyone would be able to do the same and not everyone will respond to it the same. This helped increase my supply, but I was still never able to exclusively breastfeed even with this medication.
In summary, I don’t believe there needs to be more support towards exclusive breastfeeding. I think there just needs to be more support in whatever is best for the mother and baby’s unique situation and choices. I also don’t think we should say there is likely a “fix” for everything, but we can help mother’s cope and understand that they are doing the best they can for their babies.
Hi Lillian, thank you for taking the time to post your thoughts. Everyone’s experience is so unique and I appreciate sharing your past experience. Attitudes and support for breastfeeding vary widely and in the United States, as a whole, there is a lack of support. If there was better support we would see much higher rates of breastfeeding. I know there is not a one size fits all for every mom and baby, and everyone’s breastfeeding journey will be different.
The “fix” quote came from a lactation consultant who opened my eyes to solutions to breastfeeding issues that I thought could not be solved. I’m sorry to hear that you ran into an issue that couldn’t be fixed. It sounds like you went through great lengths to try and I can imagine that was challenging.
You are right, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is overwhelmingly sided towards exclusive breastfeeding and not using formula. The extreme bias is not ideal and I can see how that could alienate a mother who cannot exclusively breastfeed. I recently published an episode on weaning to bridge the gap in the lack of support and resources on weaning your baby from breastfeeding. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and many other great breastfeeding resources, really lack info when you are ready to quit breastfeeding.
Thank you again for sharing your thoughts and I wish you the best for your second pregnancy!