Overview

When your baby arrives, the last thing you want to deal with is troubleshooting issues with your dog adjusting to your new baby. The good news is that there are simple steps you can take during pregnancy to ensure a seamless transition with your pet as your family grows. Learn about the downsides of traditional dog training and what you should do instead. Get tips to safely introduce your dog to your baby and how to troubleshoot any potential issues that can arise with your dog postpartum. This episode will set you on the right track for a harmonious transition as your family grows and how to build a bond between your dog and baby to last a lifetime.

Thank you to Jaime Caponetta for sharing her expertise for this episode. Jaime is a certified Canine Behavior Consultant and an ABCDT Dog Trainer, but her most cherished role is being a mom to my three wonderful boys and three incredible rescue dogs. Jaime specializes in resolving conflicts and behavioral challenges between dogs and babies. She goes above and beyond managing behaviors to seek to understand and address root causes. From environmental influences to past traumas and everything in between, she works to decode the complexities of your dog’s behavior. Jaime is truly a dog and baby expert. She is the perfect resource to help guide you on how to get your dog ready for your new baby and ensure that everything goes smoothly after your baby arrives.

• Jaime Caponetta.com
• Jaime’s Instagram
• Stop Training Your Dog https://amzn.to/47cb0Si
• Paws and Pacifiers Podcast
• Save 15% OFF the Dog and Baby Bliss course This comprehensive program guides you through desensitization techniques, safe introductions, and provides everything you need a craft a loving relationship between your dog and baby. Join countless families in creating a harmonious, safe, and joyful home.

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Transcript and Resources

Vanessa: Today on the podcast, I have Jamie Caponetta, my go-to resource for everything related to dogs and babies. Jamie, you’ve been a guest on the podcast a few times, and I know that your role and focus have changed quite a bit over the last year. Can you introduce yourself and tell us a little about what you do?

Jaime: I’m Jamie Caponetta. I am a dog and baby expert. I am a certified behavioral consultant with the ABCDT. Regarding dog training, I also recently wrote a bestselling book called Stop Training Your Dog. My main focus is dogs, babies, toddlers, just kids in general, families getting everybody on the same page, and keeping our dogs and babies safe.

Vanessa: That is exactly why I’m bringing you to the podcast. Because I know we have a lot of listeners that have a dog. I’ve worked with you to troubleshoot some issues with my dog, which has been insanely helpful. I like the perspective that you come from. Can you explain a little bit about the title of your book, Stop Training Your Dog? What is your approach, and how does that differ from what people assume dog training is supposed to be like?

Jaime: I think it’s really beautiful because it’s the same with our children. It’s Stop Training Your Dog because I want everybody to understand as parents that we’re supposed to be teaching, not training. It’s not just about obedience cues. If your dog has severe behavioral issues or anxiety and they’re struggling with social situations, reactivity, or anything that they have going on that is an emotional thing, that is something that you can fix. I always tell people like, can you have an argument with your spouse and fix it because you are good at math, right? They’re apples and oranges. You could be really intelligent, but if you’re not emotionally intelligent, you can’t function in society when talking to people. It’s the same for our dogs and our kids. I always tell people that what I do is gentle parenting for dogs.

This is not permissive parenting. This is not discipline-type parenting. This is very much so realizing what our dogs and our kids are going through. They’re very similar. Toddlers and dogs are basically the same when they come to how they learn association-based. When we look at that and realize that they’re probably feeling the same exact emotions, we can empathize a lot easier with our dogs and say, okay, understand what you’re going through. These are these firm boundaries that I’m going to hold with empathy for you. We can, as a family, get to where we all want to be when we’re all on the same page. Everyone’s happy, everyone is succeeding, and everyone is safe. That is the number one thing that I focus on, which is whether dogs and kids feel safe. Then we’re putting proper boundaries in place for everybody without using punitive dog training methods, which are the traditional thing that you see out in the world that’s super sexy on Instagram and, you know, 30 seconds fix your dog. Like, it’s just not real.

Vanessa: Can you explain why that is a problem? There are a lot of those great dog-training influencers, and they seem to have very obedient dogs.

Jaime: Yeah. It looks great, right? It’s like, oh, I want my dog to be able to do that. In reality, that’s not really what you want. You don’t want to suppress the dog, okay? When we use punitive training, that’s, you know, aversive training, prong collars, shock collars, and correction-based type training, Whether it’s emotional or physical, both dogs will learn that you are no longer safe and that they cannot express how they actually truly feel around us. The same thing with our kids. If we do not give them space to have emotions and keep our own issues to ourselves while they’re figuring themselves out, we are going to deem ourselves unsafe parents, and they’re going to tiptoe around us and walk on eggshells. That’s when you get kids who are people pleasers and the ones who can feel out for all the people in the room. How’s everyone feeling?

I can fix what I’m doing so I don’t get in trouble. We don’t want that. We don’t want that for our dogs either, right? When you see these dogs with these aversive trainers, they are suppressed. These dogs are so pushed into Pandora’s box that at the slightest opportunity, that’s when you see in the news, oh, dog bites out of nowhere. It always, it’s always the same title. Like a dog attacks a kid out of nowhere, the dog gets out of a house and attacks a dog out of nowhere. It’s not out of nowhere. This is because they have had emotional suppression for most of their life that they’re with this person or this trainer in particular. That basically means you’re not allowed to feel this way. You’re not allowed to tell me that you feel this way. If you do, you will feel discomfort, pain, or fear.

And that’s it. That’s just how, and it’s very similar to punitive type parenting, right? Like, just wait till your father gets home. It’s very similar, right? That old school notion of being fearful of someone who’s supposed to be taking care of you and loving you and helping you through this difficult life that we’re all in. That’s when you see that. These dogs that look like they’re really well-behaved are really just terrified at the end of the day. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are two different types of dogs. You have your smarty pants and happy dummies, okay? Your Happy dummies are living the dream. I say that with the utmost love and respect. If I was a dog, I would hope to be a happy dummy. Okay? Let’s put it that way. I have two happy dummies myself.

They have both been through the wringer. They both rescue horrible lives before they get to us. They are the happiest dogs in the world, okay? They just think of sunshine and unicorns every day when they wake up, okay? Like they could be stuck in a paper bag, and they’d be like, all right, this is where we live. Now they are in a completely different ballpark of thinking than my smarty pants Chihuahua, who is inbred and lives in a hoarding house like her parents were cousins. Even though she’s known only John and me from the very beginning and has had the best life in the world, she is still reactive. She’ll still guard certain things because, genetically, her brain is more stressed out, more reactive, and more fearful. She feels these emotions on her, on her paws, all the time. It’s just a different life.

 For the dogs that we see that get deemed difficult, those are the smarty pants dogs; the happy dummies make it harder for the difficult dogs because these, you know, people always say, like, golden retriever dogs, right? Like, they’re so easy, and it’s because they’re happy dummies, not because of the breed. It’s, it’s just what they, how they came out. They’re not stressed out. They’re not anxious. They’re going with the flow. But our smarty-pants dogs are more hyper-focused, and they watch everyone’s every move, and they’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop because they are convinced, because most likely the cortisol levels in their brain, they’re convinced something bad is going to happen. Happy dummy dogs are just walking around loving life; they are two different types of dogs. You’ll see the happy dummy dogs, if they are experiencing the aversive training, that traditional old school type way, they will most likely go through their training process so much quicker and so much easier because they’re like, okay, I guess this is happening now.

But they don’t feel as deeply, so they tend not to rebut those trainings. You see, the more intelligent, anxious, hyper-focused dogs will push against the aversive training, and then they get deemed as unadoptable or aggressive because they’re like, no, I don’t like what you’re doing to me. I, I am fearful of you. I’m now reactive. Whereas the happy dummies dogs are like, okay, we’re just going to be like this now. That’s life. I better just respect the boundaries, and I’m fine with that. That’s why you see two different types of dogs and how they respond to that type of training. But a lot of times, those aversive trainers will say to, like, my clients, and then once they come to me, they’ll say, oh, my dog was so difficult. It must have been me. For example, it was the parent’s fault because the parent wasn’t doing it right. In reality, that training is not appropriate for any dog at all. It doesn’t matter what breed, it doesn’t matter the past if they’ve bitten. No dog has ever come to me, and I’ve had to use any aversive training whatsoever to fix the problem.

Vanessa: Yeah. Well, and that’s why I love your method. I have an Australian Shepherd who is a smarty pants dog.

Jaime: Smarty pants, throw it through

Vanessa: It could be difficult. Can you explain a little bit what an anxious dog looks like? Because I think prior to coming to you, I wouldn’t have described his behavior as anxious. Can you talk a little bit about what that looks like?

Jaime: That’s a great question. Because many people, I’ll say, is your dog anxious? They’re like, and I see them thinking about it like, no, because everyone thinks when you talk about an anxious dog, like the dog’s sitting in the corner shaking, pacing, yeah. Ing and it’s like, no, that’s one type of anxiety that’s just that’s like full on like panic mode mental breakdown almost type dog, right? Then you have your reactive dogs, who are just constantly on alert. Like I said, they’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. They’re waiting for someone to ring that doorbell, come on the property, come into the house, step towards their mom or dad, and they’re just waiting for it. That is a really unhealthy mental place to be. A lot of dogs are experiencing that around the clock. Then you have your separation anxiety.

Dogs who, if you leave, go into panic mode. That’s like that typical anxiousness. But really, anxiety can be so broad. It can be so many different types of things. It could be even just like hand-shy where they live, you know, for the most part, a normal life, but they’re not the snuggliest of dogs. Maybe they keep their distance, and they get categorized as independent dogs who don’t like to, you know, they do their own thing. Maybe they, like, if you guys are eating dinner, they may go into your bedroom and just sleep. Or, like, if you’re cuddling on the couch, they may go to a different room or on a bed that’s distant from you. They want to be there, but they don’t want to be touched because they don’t yet know how to accept that love. That’s still anxiety; that’s still like trauma response to something that’s probably happened to them.

 There are a lot of ways to look at it in, in terms of anxiety, like dogs that follow you around Velcro dogs, who just always follow you from room to room. They don’t nap during the day. That’s one of the biggest things I will ask people. Does your dog nap? And they’re like, well, they go to bed at night. I’m like, yeah, well, that’s normal, but what about during the day? Dogs should really be sleeping 15 to 18 hours a day. Really? And people are like, wait, what? I’m like, yes. Dogs should be napping, pretty much. If there’s nothing going on, there’s no excitement, there are no people, and everyone’s just hanging on home to normal activities. They should be resting a lot. Just, you know, going back to the reactivity part, like just barking more out the window, just on high alert noise sensitivity being touched, being fondled, like any, any type of grooming would irritate them.

They don’t like their nails cut. They don’t like being and not like in a, in a be alpha type way, but being flipped on their back. If someone were to pick them up and hold them like a baby, they would flip out like that is not comfortable for them. That’s a dog who’s anxious, doesn’t trust the situation, and is out of control in their body. O if anything changes, like a new baby, someone passes away, moving houses, or going on long car rides. If your dog cannot recover mentally from those things, that is more likely a dog that is more sensitive, more hyper-focused, and anxious on a daily basis, for sure.

Vanessa: Okay. That all makes sense. That gives me a little more perspective. Yeah, How that works. I was having a conversation with someone yesterday, and they were talking about their German Shepherd who, when they had a kid, the dog was amazing with the kid. You know, the kid could sit on the dog and pull on his ears, and everything was fine. But he said if the mailman came and that kid was between the dog and the front door, that dog would’ve run right over my son.

Jaime: Yes.

Vanessa: You know, and that brought up some great things for me. Maybe if your dog barks at the mailman right now, it’s not the hugest deal in the world, right? Mm-Hmm. But then, thinking ahead, if you’re pregnant right now and you are going to have a baby, what are some things that you see that parents should be thinking ahead about?

Jaime: there are so, so many things. I mean, in my dog’s baby’s bliss course, we go over all the things to desensitize to, like the breast pump, all the baby gear, and the noises. But you’re right; those other behaviors, those behaviors outside of the baby, could affect their relationship. If in that same scenario with that German Shepherd, that dog is seen red, that dog is so enthralled negatively by the mailman that it, it probably can’t even physically see the child in its way, like the child no longer exists, right? Right. This happens quite a bit, and our dogs will get tunnel vision. I always say they can’t hear or see you. If you’re, if you’re trying to work with your dog, you’re, you’re using techniques like you’re trying to get them to sit and focus on you in a time of being in the red zone when they’re literally seeing red, they’re not going to be able to do anything you’re asking them to do.

And then a lot of times people will just get super frustrated because they’re like, you know, these cues, you know how to do these things all the other time we practice on this. Why can’t you do it now? Why can’t you do it when you know push comes to shove, and I need you to listen? It’s because their number one thing right now is staying safe and alive, that mailman to them, whether we believe it to be true or not. Right? Right. We obviously know the mailman’s not here to do anything. Your dog does not know that. You cannot sit your dog down and explain to your dog. The mailman is simply here to do a job. They’re paid to do it. They bring the bills; that’s why they’re here. Right? Your dog is thinking, no, I’m saving the family by doing X, Y, Z.

 They go into the red zone, they hit ten on the ladder, and they’re going to handle it however they see fit at that moment until their body and their brain can mentally recover from it, regardless of what you do or say. I think that that concept is not something that parents think about at the moment because we’re so frustrated, we’re embarrassed, we’re like, why are you doing this? And especially if the kid gets knocked down, nobody loves that. We have our own emotions about the scenario, but in reality, we have to look at the dog and say, okay, what’s going on for you? And how can I help you through this so that you’re not hitting 10? How can I get you to like an eight so we can work through this and actually get you to like the mailman, right?

I think that’s a really missed concept for a lot of people. I think working on impulse control and our reactivity is huge before the baby comes. Yes, we can do some obedience training, but again, remember being really good at cues does not make them like the mailman. You think about that, right? Telling a dog to sit and look at you doesn’t get them to like the mammo, which is really what we’re looking to do here. I always ask my clients what their main goal is. Don’t tell me you want to behave dog. Don’t tell me you want your dog to stop barking at everybody. What is your goal? Like, look at it very with a very fine tooth cone and say, okay, I want my dog to like the mailman. Because if your dog likes the mailman, that whole scenario is not even a thing anymore, right?

They would never trample down the toddler because they liked the mam. It would be a good association, right? Or I want my dog to like guests coming over, or I want my dog to like when guests hold the baby, I want my dog to feel a little bit less clingy to me so I’m not overstimulated and overwhelmed while I’m trying to breastfeed. This dog is on top of me, right? Like, look at your life and say, what do you truly want? Right? We’re not looking at like the negatives. I just want the negative to go away. Because That doesn’t help. We want to look at the end goal. When we do that, the path to that gets so much simpler. Because if, you know, you want the dog to like the mailman, now our goal is to get them to like the mailman. That seems way simpler than getting our dog to stop trampling the toddler, stop barking, and stop doing this. Like, all these lists of things that they need to stop doing, but in reality, we just need to get them to do one thing like the mailman. Does that make sense?

Vanessa: That makes perfect sense. I think you can imagine, right? If you have a dog that follows you around all day like you were saying, the Velcro dog, which is such a great term for it, that might not be a huge deal for you right now, you know? But when you’re bringing a baby in, that can be different. Are there other specific behaviors that you are expecting parents to take a look at?

Jaime: For sure. One of the biggest things aside from all of them, like normal desensitization, is two big things. Changing the schedule, like your current routine, has to be what you might think it would be. Now, this is hard for people, especially if they’ve never had a kid before. First-time parents don’t really know what to expect. You don’t really know how your routine is going to change. That’s why I created the course; it’s there. It’s like, these are all the things that could possibly happen for you, and I want you to really think about it. Then, you know, the couple gets to sit down after our session, and they say, Hmm, how do we want our life to look? Do we want the dog in the bed? If your dog is currently in my bed, my dog is in my bed.

I’ve never had a problem with my dogs being in my bed with my babies breastfeeding in the middle of the night. It really comes down to personality and preference, where everybody is at emotionally, and how they feel safety-wise. If I have clients that are like, no, this is big, this is like, that makes me nervous, then we need to do that right now. Like the second you get pregnant, we are transitioning that dog out of the bed, whether it’s into a crate on a bed on the floor or out of the room in general, right? We have to look at what the parents want and they feel really strongly towards, right? We’re changing our routine as soon as physically possible. The second we get pregnant into something that we think will be possible.

Like what, what might be what we’re dealing with. Now, the other thing is getting our dogs to be away from us again with those Velcro dogs. This is really tough. I have tons of parents who come to me, and they do, especially since COVID-19 happened, so our dogs don’t leave our sides. If we are home, they’re with us 24. I have a mom, and she’s like a 2-year-old now. When we started, I think the kid was only one of her small little multi-poo. She cannot go to the bathroom with the door closed. She physically cannot go into the bathroom without the door closed. Without this dog, he is absolutely losing his mind. Even if dad is home like that, is severe separation anxiety in the same home, feet away, with only just a piece of wood in between that? That’s mental health, right? That’s not healthy for either of them.

That is highly codependent on the mom. She feels the weight of that and the burden of that while trying to take care of her child. That is very stressful. When I always have people who are planning or pregnant, we are really looking. I want to say, okay, what does it look like? What is your relationship with your dog? How dependent are we on you? Are they, and can you put them in your bedroom with some frozen enrichment that’s high value? They know that they’re not punished. They’re not exiled. They’re in there to create some space. Can they do that? Is that even a possibility for them? Or would they break down the door and rip off the molding? Because if they’re ripping off the molding and crying and whining for hours, we have, that’s, that’s huge.

Huge. Especially when guests come over, they sometimes need a break. It’s a lot, you know, new baby, all these guests, maybe other kids running around that they’re not used to, new people they haven’t met before. It’s a lot for a dog, and they need decompression time away from all of that. If you can’t put your dog somewhere where they can just chill out, that’s a huge problem. That’s not going to be good for their recovery. They can act appropriately once they come back out to the party, right? You have their guests over; maybe they’ll be with the guests for about 20 or 30 minutes. We take a break maybe in their crate in your room with some, you know, enrichment. Then they come out after 20 minutes, and they can start over instead of being out there for an hour. Then, an hour hits, and they’re losing their minds, stressed out, and jumping all over people. Maybe they’re barking because they just don’t know what to do with themselves. Like it, it’s like an over-tired toddler, and they need that rest. If we can’t separate from our dogs, that tends to be a huge problem. Those are the two things. Routine changes and having distance from dogs are the two things that I see parents really struggle with when the baby comes.

Vanessa: Right? Well, and what a huge opportunity to be able to tackle this now when you’re pregnant, rather than waiting till you have a new baby and everybody’s sleep-deprived and you’re stressing

Jaime: Out about that, and you have no patience whatsoever for that, right? You’re just angry. You are postpartum. You’re hormonal. Because honestly, I am; I am 36 weeks pregnant right now with my third, and I am the most overstimulated I’ve ever been in my entire life. I are pregnant, two toddlers that don’t stop talking, and I’m just like, oh my God. The dogs, the dogs are all over me. It’s very overstimulating, and the baby’s not even here yet, right? It’s like, I know what that’s like, and it’s the most frustrating thing to want to unload your emotions in a scenario that is just not helpful, right? You’re totally valid in those emotions, but they won’t fix the problem, right? Right. We do it prior, and we work through that before the baby even gets; you’re going to be sitting pretty, and you’re going to be so happy you did it. She’s like, wow, I couldn’t even imagine this six months ago that we were able to put the dog in the crate and then, like, go hang out on the couch and just like, relax for a little bit and then let the dog back out and come join us.

Vanessa: Yeah. Well, and I know from my experience, I imagine a lot of people don’t come to you until they’re like at their wit’s end,

Jaime: You know, many times, it’s like an emergency consult. They’re like, we need you. Like, we’re in, we’re in deeper. I’m like, all these things could have been fixed simply if we had worked prior. They’re so, it’s not hard. I think a lot of people have this notion too that when they get pregnant, you know, everybody’s doing the registry, and they’re getting themselves ready, right? Like you’re learning, maybe you want to breastfeed. I mean, when I got pregnant with my first, I read the womanly art of breastfeeding like it was the Bible; I swear I was like a day audiobook like I was learning. I was like, I want to. It was so important to me to make that work., and I think parents need to understand that dogs need that prep work, too, especially if they’ve never been around a kid or a baby.

It’s, it’s a whole; it’s like you go from this little tiny infant thing to this 2-year-old toddler in a very short period of time. Like they’re hitting milestones so quickly, and these thoughts are like, whoa, hold on a second. What just happened? Right? Like, we’re slightly prepared, maybe not as much as we thought. Even when I got into the toddler phase with my second one, I was like, okay, the first one didn’t do this. This is a little different. I was never prepared for this one. Right? The second one’s always a little bit different and challenges you and the dogs experience at times ten because they can’t speak, they can’t prepare, and they can’t take a class like we do, right? That’s where we come in with this, this training prior, and we prepare them in the simplest way.

These are not, like I said before, about obedience. It’s not about sitting down two hours a day and working on cues. It’s about shaping your life before the baby comes. When the baby does come, it’s like, oh, it’s seamless. We’ve been doing this. Right? And there are so many different practices in my course that will really show a parent. Oh, I didn’t even think of this. I didn’t know we would be doing this. Or, you know, just getting them used to these types of things. That’s the most important thing. It’s not training; it’s just doing what you’re preparing yourself for, for parenthood. You’re just bringing your dog along for the ride. Very simple type things.

Vanessa: Yeah. Well, and I think a lot of people will think that it is going to be hard, especially if you have a dog that maybe was never in a crate, right? Like crate training is not a thing.  You could train an older dog to use a crate, right?

Jaime: Yes. You can, like, let’s say your dog has no trauma, and you got really lucky. Your dog is super chill. You can definitely work on the crate very simply. If you adopted a dog, if they’ve never been in a crate before and they do struggle with some separation anxiety in general, they may be a Velcro dog to you, hyper bonded or codependent on one parent. It’ll probably be a little bit more difficult. But you know, that’s where the course comes in, and it kind of walks you through exactly what to do in those moments when your dog is stressed out. How do we do this properly so it’s not traumatic for a dog and that they’re not associating it? I always say, don’t blame the baby. That’s the biggest thing. Like, you don’t want to start this when the baby comes.

Because They’re going to say, what was the common denominator here? I got moved out of the bed. I got put in this crate. They’re exon me all the time. I’m not allowed next to Mom on the couch anymore. All these things are happening. The second the baby comes around, they’re like, this baby sucks. I want nothing to do with this. Right? But if we crate train prior and then again, it may take you a little bit longer. Your dog may have trauma around the crate. Maybe a previous family had them, and it was traumatic. You can work through it. It’s definitely not the most fun training in the world. I’ll tell you that. Two of my three were horrible separation anxiety cases. I say, I say, God, send them to me on purpose because any other family would be like, we are not doing this. But they’re great dogs; they’re amazing. They’ve just been through a lot. Their separation anxiety was definitely through the roof, but we worked through it. They can now both be in my room for eight hours, up to eight hours, no problem, without any incidents, no destroying anything. It took time, but you know, we did the work, and it helped them for the better. I think when we do it prior to the baby coming, you’re just set up for success.

Vanessa: Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Can you talk a little bit about exactly what’s covered in your course?

Jaime: For sure. We have everything from the beginning. You’re going to get all the training cues right off the bat. Obedience, I think, as I’ve said multiple times already, is not going to make or break your dog. It’s not going to fix your dog’s behavioral issues. But it is really beneficial for your dog to have a few cues under their belt. Sitting, obviously, is great. Look, wait, touch, and leave it. Or my like, go relax or go lay down. Like we’re in a relaxed protocol. Like we’re not doing anything exciting right now. Like, go chill out. They understand what that means, so they understand what you’re actually asking for them. A lot of times, we’ll, just even my father, I always say he is the best man in the world when it comes to training.

He just, like, makes it so much more complex. He’s like having full-on conversations with his dogs, and he’s like, why, why won’t you do the thing? And I’m like, you need to just say one word because you’re having a monologue, and they’re very confused, right? And when we just get very specific in a kind way, our dogs can start to learn the routine and what we’re actually asking from them, which actually eliminates a lot of confusion and frustration. A lot of times, people say, oh, my dog’s ignoring me. No, your dog’s not ignoring you. Your dog has no idea what you want. They are non-confrontational beings. They’re legitimately turning their head away from you because they’re like, I want the stand. I don’t know what’s happening. I want this stand. That’s what happens nine times out of 10. When you see those videos of dogs doing the side face, they’re like, I don’t know what I’m being yelled at for, so I’m just going to act like I didn’t do anything.

Right? And a lot of people, they, you know what? You did it, but it’s not. That’s not what’s going on. They’re confused. Obedience cues are in there. How do we use them properly? We’re not just saying, like, you need to do this right now because I’m asking you to do this. Again, we are leading with empathy and compassion in those moments. I know you know how to do this, but you’re not doing it. I’m assuming you’re having a really tough time with whatever the scenario is. How can I help you through it? That’s what I go through, too. It is like, yeah, you may be telling your dog to stop jumping on your guests, but they’re having a hard time, so what can you do instead because it’s not working? We had that going on. We have, you know, going through all the desensitization, the baby gear, all the stroller, all that stuff, how to do it properly, the baby noises, and everything else in there.

How often do we do it, what do we look out for, what have my clients struggled with in the past that they didn’t desensitize, and what do we have to be worried about? Then we will go over everything about D-Day, delivery day, and prepping your dog for you. Like, like you may suddenly leave for the hospital. I’m sure you’ve talked about it a million times on this on this podcast. How you don’t know what kind of situation you’re going to have? I mean, I am a perfect example of that. I was, I was 40 and five, and my birth was a disaster with my first one. It was so traumatic, and we were not prepared for that. Like, I thought I was going to have this beautiful natural birth unmedicated, like my list of things at the, at the OB like where you, you say what you want to or just getting crossed off left and right.

Being that I was under so much stress, I was in the hospital way longer. My son wound up being in the NICU. I had an emergency c-section. You have to have a game plan for that. We’d go over all the things that could possibly happen in the course. I get really real about it. I say, listen, this was my own experience. I know that these are the things that can happen, and I want to make sure that your dog is cared for during the time that you’re gone. If you’re laboring at home, you want to have a home birth, what are we doing with the dog? How is your dog going to handle this? Are there things that we need to desensitize to the dog at home? Right? If you’re having a doula and they’re going to be in your home getting your dog.

If your dog doesn’t like guests, get your dog to like that particular person, right? The data, you’re going into labor, we’re not dealing with these stressful things, right? You can focus on what you have going on. Always having like a third hand. Like you got your two parents, hopefully. Then, an extra third person who’s going to help out with the dog, regardless of your situation, will make sure the dog is home. When you get home with a baby from the hospital, that’s what you’re doing. There’s a whole protocol, a whole module on the introduction, because if you nail that introduction, you’re pretty much sitting pretty until that kid starts to really move. Really? That’s really, it’s a different ballgame. Yes. Yep. Once they start moving, we have another module called, you know, troubleshooting postpartum.

Right? Because all of that really matters. We have to make sure that we’re nailing, like the arm movements and tummy time, and keeping everybody safe and what that looks like. We don’t know that our dogs aren’t getting possessive of the baby. Other people can obviously hold and take care of the baby, but they’re not getting terrified of the baby. Right? My parent’s own dog was rehomed to my family because he did not do well with his previous family’s baby that came home. The baby was in the bassinet, like cooing and moving its arms. He was in the corner of the room, growling. They immediately came to my house. He’s fabulous with my dogs because I did everything that’s in the course I did with him. He loves my children. He could be. Now, this is not an amazing thing.

I mean, it is for him because he’s so great. My kids could fall on him accidentally while he has something of high value, and he’s more concerned about whether they’re okay. Now, I would guarantee that that old family would never think that that would even be possible for him because he was so terrified of this kid moving. If we nail the introduction, which they did not, the dog was at my house when they brought the baby home. They wanted to settle with the baby for a week. I highly suggest not doing that. We want to make sure that the dog is home and the dog doesn’t feel bamboozled when it comes back home. Like, who is this kid? How did, when did they right? Why is there a smell everywhere I wear? Why was I sent away? There are so many emotions involved in it.

 Nailing that intro and the first interaction between them is huge. If you nail that, we have a whole checklist and guidelines on there, even for your third hand. As for me, my parents take care of my dogs when I go to the hospital to have a child, and they know the deal., so we have a whole printout for you to have for your extra hands so they do everything perfectly before you even come home. Everything is there. We have the troubleshooting postpartum that goes through, you know, visitors, reactivity, how to deal with barking if your dog’s a barker. Because That’s always fun when you have a kid, the kid’s sleeping finally, and the dog starts to bark, and you’re like, stop it. How how do we work on that? Really, everything that you could possibly be dealing with your dog outside of baby is in this course.

And really going through all of that. It is the course that I say all expecting parents need because it will touch on even things that you may not be experiencing with this dog. That course is yours for life. If you get another dog, they may be the complete opposite of your current dog, which you’re like, wow, we didn’t experience this with them. Like that’s like our three, our three are different personalities. Pudge is a different ballgame. The chihuahua, the smarty-pants, is different when it comes to the kids than the other two. The other two don’t care about anything. They are just happy to be here. She is like, don’t touch me. Right? Like, she’s like, no, I’m not okay with this. She is our one that puts up boundaries, and we really have to listen to where she’s at and, and really like if you are used to the happy dummy dog and then all of a sudden you have a second child and now you have a smarty pants dog, you’re like, wait, I have no idea how to navigate this. You still have that course to go back to all the videos that you didn’t need prior. You still have them.

Vanessa: That’s great. You know, you are talking about this story of how you ended up, or was it your parents who ended up with the dog that didn’t?

Jaime: Yeah. Gatsby it now lives with them. When I was, it was like 10 years ago. I was living home Yeah. At the time before I met John. When he got home to our home. I mean, I was like 24 at the time. Yeah. He was petrified of that kid. Yeah.

Vanessa: It’s heartbreaking to hear a story about a family, usually dog nips at the kid and parents are like, absolutely not. Like we can’t deal with that.

Jaime: Yeah. I think that’s a big thing, and it’s very controversial, but my dogs are just as important as my children., and I can, I can, we actually, as I said, created a dog and toddler course too because JJ, my 4-year-old, when he turned 18 months, two years old, like in that realm, he started to think that Pudge was the funniest thing in the world. Now, when I tell you this dog has no humor, it is like this dog is not intentionally funny. Okay. She’s little, she’s cute, everybody wants to touch her. But, like, when she would growl, he would think it was hysterical. I had to explain to him, no, that’s not funny. That’s her saying that she’s terrified of you. It’s, it’s, of course, that goes all over. How do I explain this to a small child who can’t even speak that well yet?

Right? How do we say it in a way that they can understand so we can set that boundary, saying, no, we don’t do that to Pudge. We don’t, we don’t run up to dogs in general when, you know, even if you have anybody listening to us that doesn’t have their own dog, but like they’re at the park with their kid, never run up to a dog. That could be dangerous for your child because they could get immediately bit like some dogs just really don’t. Right? They’re so petrified that they don’t care. But it could be traumatic for that dog, even if they don’t make contact. That could be it for that family where the dog is like, okay, I’m terrified of children now. They could have been holding it together, and that was the last straw. You know, it’s very much when we’re dealing with toddlers that we are putting those boundaries up and making sure that they understand.

We don’t do these things. Like, these are not funny. I know your age group, that’s funny, right? When she runs away, and you hear her little pitter-patter on the ground, you want to chase after her, but I guarantee you she’s not enjoying herself. Yeah. We have to try really hard to explain to our kids that that’s inappropriate. That’s not okay. While also telling our dogs, thank you for telling me that you’re upset. Thank you for growling. A lot of people say they want to train out and grow. Do not train out the growl. You need the growl. You need the bark. You need to know if your dog is upset. Do not reprimand them for putting up a boundary with your child. Because I have always said to JJ, I said, listen, at this point, we have gone over this so many times, and there’s only so much I can do as a parent from that point of view.

Right? If you get bit by her, I know it wasn’t her fault. I know that she put every ounce of effort into keeping you away from her because she’s really good at it. If you get bit, I know that you put her in a position where she couldn’t leave, and she felt threatened, and we’ve, and now he’s four, right? Right. Now, he’s at an age where he can fully understand what’s going on. Right. His impulse control is not great because his brain is still developing. I know that, and I always say to him, I know your brain is telling you to do X, Y, Z, but you have to also talk to your brain and say, this is not safe. This is not nice. Right. He’s working through that. I always ex I always remind him, I know if she bit you, it was because you were doing something that she was really upset about.

Not because she wanted to, she was protecting herself. I think that’s a concept that a lot of parents don’t understand because all they’re thinking about is protecting their child. But we also have to protect our dogs. If we don’t prove to our dogs that we are safe parents for them as well, they will clam up. They won’t speak, and they’ll just bite. That’s when you see dog bites out of nowhere. That’s what I was talking about before. It’s because that dog did not feel safe enough to vocalize before the bite happened. We see it all the time around. My dog is not vocal. If they’re, especially if they’re adopted, that old family might have trained out the vocalization, which is dangerous. We always want to make our dogs feel really comfortable so that they can trust us. I want my dogs to look at me and be like, Hey mom, like this kid’s losing its mind.

We need some help over here, right? Like, I want to know what’s going on and want them to feel comfortable expressing that, especially to the kid. We’re putting up a boundary. It’s just like other kids, right? Like me, my kids are two and four, and they’re fighting quite a bit. I want JJ to know that if Joey says, stop, you stop immediately. Yeah. No questions asked. Right? It’s the same. We do that for our kids. We tell us, we tell our kids hands off, they’re playing resident boys, and they wrestle. But if someone says stop, we stop immediately. Right? And it’s the same for our dogs. If they, if they growl, that means they’re saying, please stop. They’re not saying, I’m going to, I’m going to like rip your face off. They’re basically saying, I don’t like what’s happening, so I’d really like it to stop now. If we don’t respect that, we’re going to get bit at the end of the day, and then we can’t get mad about it. I always, I always want to put that out there for parents in perspective. We can’t help our dogs if we don’t allow them to speak up.

Vanessa: Yeah, that makes sense. Well, and it’s a great word like, you want that warning. Yeah. You know, but a lot of

Jaime: People don’t look at it like that. They look at it as aggression. They hear a growl or a bark. Like, my dog’s being aggressive. No, your dog has emotions. Your dog, your dog is a living, breathing, you know, a creature that feels things and is letting you know. My biggest thing, if I do one thing in this life, is to explain to people that dogs have emotions, and that’s okay. We have to be okay with that. We have to stop looking at it as our dogs are being bad. That is just like screaming and crying. I always tell my clients that I have a hard con, but I have a hard time with this concept. I, when you look at your dog barking, lunging, growling, whether it’s at a kid or the mailman or whatever, that is screaming and crying for a child. If you can picture that, you can biologically be more empathetic towards your dog because you are pre-programmed to look at your child who’s screaming and crying like, oh my God, let me fix the problem.

But with our dogs, we’re like, no. Why would you like it? We’re embarrassed. Right? Our emotions towards that are completely different because of how we have seen society; society has told us this is what this means. We have a negative connotation with our dogs showing emotion. We have to change that about ourselves. When our dogs are barking, lunging, and growling, I need you to picture a small child screaming about crime because they’re terrified. If you can do that, your training program and your process will be so much easier, and you’ll be able to kind of get on your dog’s level and say, I get it. I’m with you. I totally get it. Let’s work through this together versus stop what you’re doing. I’m over it.

Vanessa: Right. Well, I know that the work you do is very thorough and you have a lot of experience. I know this course will include everything. It seems like there are so many things where just getting your expert perspective on something or seeing something in a different way can be so helpful. It can be such a game changer when you’re trying to train your dog. Yeah. For somebody who just loves their dog and doesn’t have any experience, you know, you don’t know better, or it seems like this is a super difficult thing to do. It

Jaime: It seems hopeless a lot of the time, especially when there is a child involved. Everyone literally goes to gloom and doom because you’re so emotionally involved, right? Like for example, I have people tell me all the time, oh my God, it’s so simple when you say it, but why didn’t I think of that? And I always say because you are so in it, you are so far in it that you don’t even know what this looks like to other people. When you’re here, I have no emotional involvement in your dog. Your dog’s not my dog. Yes. I love them from afar, but they are not mine. Right? Right. I can look at this very logically. Okay, what are our options here? This is how we keep everybody safe. This is how we get to the end goal. You’re like, oh, wow.

That makes sense because I made it easy for you. I am not distraught at the moment, and I don’t have my own emotions involved in the training process. Right. But I will tell you, when we took Gatsby, my parents’ dog that I was just talking about, and we were getting him together with his now sister, he was dog reactive. After my pity when I was a kid passed away, he did not want to be around any other dogs. He was obsessed with her. I think the grieving of losing her, oh, it was so sad. It was so pathetically sad. It’s not even funny. He didn’t want to be around. Even my two happy gummies, who are the sweetest things in the world, anything that was bigger, he was petrified of and would look really terrifying. He’s like a hundred-pound black lab.

Okay. I said if we were going to bring another dog into the home, it would have to be a small puppy that he could get to know and realize the dog is not a threat. Right. I personally had such a hard time dropping those leashes when we were getting them together. We did so much work for about two months, getting them to really love each other and trust each other and everything. I know what to do as a trainer. But when it came to physically dropping those leashes and no barriers, I struggled so hard to the point where John literally came over to me and said, give me the leash and go inside. In 20 minutes, they were playing in the backyard. Everything was great because I had to be removed from it. Right. I was so worried. My emotions were so entangled that I was going to put him in a situation where he was going to end up hurting her. I was going to feel so responsible that it was my fault that he was forced to do that. I didn’t want that for him. I didn’t want to put him through that. Once, my husband took the leash, and he was like, all right, you’re out; you’re benched.

It, it, it really flourished. It blossomed. I tell my clients all the time, you have to be benched sometimes when, when you’re involved because it, it, the problem may be your emotions versus the dog. I think that’s a really hard thing to hear sometimes, but it’s necessary. we say it in a really nice way.

Vanessa: Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Obviously, I assume you encourage trouble if there are two expecting parents. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> to take the course together, right? Because you want Yes. Everybody involved should be on the same page. Yes.

Jaime: Even grandparents, like if you have, like, my parents are so involved in my kids’ lives, they’re here all the time. They need to know this stuff. Like, let’s say like, for example, I always tell my moms who are breastfeeding or even for formula feeding, anything that you’re doing that the dog would normally be able to do, X, Y, z. I’ll use the breastfeeding example of when I’m breastfeeding; I’m on the couch. Like my pity, she’s right next to me. Like if, and no matter what I’m doing, if I’m on the couch, she’s right next to me. If I start pushing her away, she’s going to think it’s the baby’s fault, right? I don’t do that. I put proper boundaries, such as, yes, you can sit next to me. You just can’t be on top of me, right? We have the proper boundary, and I hold it. But if my mom is holding the baby till she comes over and wants to say hi to her, but she’s shoving her away and doesn’t even want her on her like near her at all on the couch till she’s going to get a negative association with that. Grandma has to do the same thing that I’m doing. We have to be consistent because, again, we don’t want any negative, negative associations going on. Everyone kind of has to follow the protocol so we don’t confuse our dogs.

Vanessa: Right. Consistency has to be the biggest thing throughout all of this, right?

Jaime: Yes. A hundred percent consistency with boundaries. Now, different people can have different boundaries. Like I told you, I told people in the very beginning that I am not a playing mommy. Okay? I don’t play on the floor. It’s not my thing. I got a bad back. I don’t do it. Okay. Emotional needs: You need to be fed, and you need something. I got you, but I don’t play. If you want to play, come over to the couch, and we’ll play on the coffee table. But I don’t get on the floor, I don’t wrestle, I don’t do that stuff my husband does. For example, if the kids need that, they need to outlet their energy, or even the dogs they want to play with, they go to my husband. Those are two different boundaries that we have set, right? We keep consistent. It depends on what it is for, like your own personal life, and you can keep your boundaries. But when it comes to the baby specifically, we want to make sure that everybody’s consistent. I want to make it; I just wanted to put that out there. There are different types of boundaries you can hold for yourself, but if the baby is involved, we should all be pretty much on the same page and consistent.

Vanessa: Yeah, that makes perfect sense. What is your number one piece of advice for parents who are expecting a baby right now that have a dog who’s maybe not the perfect dog, but more or less they’re like, I don’t know, my dog seems fine, you know? Mm-Hmm. I think it’ll be okay once the baby arrives. What is your top advice?

Jaime: My top advice, and this is something I’ve been talking about a lot lately, because as you become a parent and the more children, the more dogs you have, the more apparent your own generational trauma and emotions will catch up to you. You don’t know it until you’re in it. You won’t know what’s going to pop up for you. Like the things that John and I have had to deal with emotionally since having children and the amount of dogs that we have, we never would’ve thought that we would deal with these things before having all of them, like when it was just us. I would highly look at your life as a couple, figure out what you want it to look like, and think about your emotions that are attached to certain situations or things or anything like that’s a line in the sand for you.

And why, like figure yourself out. I think as you go along this journey in pregnancy, figure out what a deal breaker is for you and why it is not just that; it’s a deal breaker, and that’s it. Figure out what emotions are attached to that so you can figure that out before your dog gets put in a situation that they’re just plumb confused about and you’re angry and frustrated because we want to come from this in a place of, we’re making this decision, this is why we’re making this decision, and we can hold it unemotional. That’s the biggest thing. Can you hold the boundary UNE emotionally? These are his kids and dogs, right? Like, if my kid is not allowed to jump on the couch and I hold that boundary, now he’s screaming and crying, but now I’m yelling and joining in the chaos because I’m overstimulated by his response.

That’s not helpful, and it’s probably not going to solve the problem. But if I hold the boundary and say, listen, I know you’re really frustrated because you really wanted to jump on the couch, but I have told you multiple times that we don’t jump on the couch, and if you did jump on the couch, this was going to be the consequence holding that, just how I said it just now, that’s it. I don’t get angry, and I don’t meet him where he’s at because I need to give him space to express his emotions. Same thing with our dogs. If you are struggling with your dog with something, acknowledge that you are struggling with that thing and that it does need to be worked on as a team. A lot of times, I feel like our parents; it’s my dog. My dog is doing this, my dog is, is this, my dog is aggressive, my dog does that.

And a lot of times it comes back to us when they, when people finally sit down, they’re like, oh, that’s why my dog is doing that. It’s me. It’s not that you’re doing anything essentially wrong; we’re just not communicating properly with our dogs. They’re confused, and that’s why we’re not actually fixing the problem. I think my biggest piece of advice is to really look deeper than where you’re currently at. That training, behavioral training is not training, it’s teaching. If we can’t teach because we are not in a place to teach, we, no one’s going to win with kids or dogs. I think very much so. The course really helps with this. It is really, really figuring out where we’re at emotionally as a family and what needs to be worked on prior to this baby coming. For sure, it is just looking at the life that you want and how you are going to get there successfully, with the least amount of frustration and confusion for everybody.

Vanessa: I love that perspective, and I love the idea of thinking about the life that you want. I think that’s an excellent conversation to have with your partner. Not just in terms of, you know, day-to-day and your dog, but yeah, like imagining your life is going. If this is your first baby, it’s going to get wild. Like you are not, you know, you can prepare all you want, but there’s nothing that will change your life as much as having a kid.

Jaime: No, not at all.

Vanessa: You know, you’re about to do this for the third time.

Jaime: I say it all the time. For example, when we first had JJ, John and I fought all the time because we had never done this before, and we were both raised differently. These things will come up, and you don’t know how to navigate them because you’ve never done it before, and you maybe have never seen a couple do it properly. A lot of people fight in private, so you don’t really know how to go about this the right way. When you’re arguing, I’m uncomfortable with this. Well, I think it’s fine. It’s like these are things that you have to be respectful of regarding what the other person wants as well. If someone’s uncomfortable by something that is something that really needs to be talked about, it’s not something to just be, be blown off because that is where I will, I will say a lot of my couples, I mean really, it’s like when I sit down with couples, it’s more like a therapy session than anything.

Like they’ll have the argument right in front of me, and I see one of the parents completely disregarding the other person’s emotions because they think they’re right. It’s not about being right. It’s about being a team, regardless if it’s the kid or the dog that you’re working with, and saying, this doesn’t feel right to me, and we have to somehow find a conclusion for the two of us where we both feel good about this. That’s your number one goal. Suppose you can’t do that, like parenthood is going to be really tough. I think that’s the biggest thing that I figured out is that when John and I in the beginning, we were constantly butting heads, and we were trying, it was more of like a, well, I think this, so it must be right. Versus just compromising and figuring out what works best for both of us and our child,

Vanessa: Which is what you’re going to be doing for the rest of your entire life with your kids

Jaime: Hunger. Like all the things that come up. Again, these kids will bring stuff out of you that you didn’t even know was there. Like I even said to John the other day, I, I never thought I’d be the overstimulated mommy, where, like, my eyes are twitching when everyone’s yelling the TV’s on while Alexis’s playing music. Both kids are talking. The dogs are barking. I’m like, and he’s sitting there just casually. I’m like, are you okay right now? You’re okay with this? He’s like, yeah, the only thing that’s annoying me is you’re huffing and puffing. I’m like, I need a minute. I need to go into the room. I never thought I’d be that mom, but it just dawned on me the other day. Why it annoys me so much is that I was not allowed to do that as a child. My parents are amazing. I love them. They’re my best friends in the world. But my mom was more strict with that kind of stuff. Like we were we weren’t allowed to be like the crazy kids jumping on the couch. Even now, she always says, oh, we don’t do that at anyone’s house because that’s not the kind of mom she is. Yeah.

And I realize why it annoys me now is that I was not allowed to do it. For me, it’s a trigger for John. He was the third kid. It was kind of like a free-for-all at that point. He was able to do whatever he wanted. We had very different upbringings when it came to that kind of discipline. I’m like, wow, it’s bringing that out in me because I was not allowed. It was a thing for me back when I was a kid that I wasn’t allowed to do. It, it stays with you. You, when you become a parent again, whether it’s to dog dogs or kids because the dogs will bring it out in you too. Right. What happened? How did you see your parents and your dogs growing up? And I just brought this up on our podcast yesterday. As I remember back in the day, maybe six years ago, I had this one young couple, and the male in the situation was very rough on the dog.

And I, you know, he was upset. He is like, my dog doesn’t like me as much as it likes my wife. I said, why do you think that is? And we went through it. I said, you know what, what are the disciplinarians? Like, who does what? And, and he was, you know, pushing the dog over on its back, holding it down because his dad and his grandpa told him to do that as a young child. I asked if I wanted to do that. And he said, no, I hate it. It feels horrible. I said you have my permission to stop. There’s no reason why you need to do that. Right. Just because they told you to do it right now. That’s what you were brought up to see. That’s what you saw. That’s what being the father looked like to you, even how you were parented as a young boy.

Don’t cry, you know, be a man, toughen up any. He thought that’s what he needed to do to be the father. In reality, it was destroying his relationship with his dog. Yeah. I literally said not to do that anymore. I just remember this because it was like a moment for me where I knew I would have this conversation more times than I’d be able to count moving forward because I know it’s something that needs to be talked about. His shoulders relaxed, and he just took a sign and he just thanked me. Yeah. From that moment on, it was completely different. He just needed someone to tell him he didn’t have to do that anymore.

Vanessa: Yeah. That’s awesome.

Jaime:  yeah, it’s, this is a lot more emotional than people really think. It is. It is very much so tied to our emotional trauma, our childhood, how we were raised, how we think the world should work, and really just the societal lies. You know, I always tell people too, like, your dog doesn’t like to walk, don’t walk. Your dog struggles with walking. They don’t like it. They’re stressed out. Don’t walk your dog.

Vanessa: Yeah. It’s, and

Jaime: They’re like, wait, what? They’re like, I cannot walk my dog. Yeah, you don’t have to. There’s no one telling you need to walk your dog.

Vanessa: Yeah. It’s so easy for things to just become ingrained in your mind, and you just, I think that, like with my Aussie mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, you know, everybody’s like, oh, they need to run. Like they’re supposed to be on a farming sheep for 10 hours a day.

Jaime: What did I tell you?

Vanessa: Yeah. You were like, I think mental stimulation will go just as far as running your dog and taking him to the dog park could be increasing anxiety, a total game changer.

Jaime: Anxiety cannot be run out.

Vanessa: Right. Can’t,

Jaime: All it does is most likely overstimulate them and make them more crazy. yeah, maybe you, you might get lucky and dog might be tired, but their brain is still going. like, that’s why we see our kids too. Like you could, how many people go to take their, their kids out all day and they’re like, yeah, we’re going to get home. These kids are going to pass out. They are a loony tune.

Vanessa: Yeah.

Jaime: How are you surviving? You had a cheese stick and a juice box; how are you alive? It doesn’t make any sense. Right. It’s because their brains are still going. Their bodies are probably exhausted, but their brains are keeping them moving. In reality, enrichment, frozen bones, and frozen Kong Popsicle toys work to eat toys that last longer than 20 minutes, hopefully up to an hour. I always tell people three to five times a day of enrichment, and people look at me like I’m crazy, and they’re like, oh, I feel like I’m spoiling my dog. I’m like, no, no, no. This is what’s actually going to get your dog to be at peace with the world. This is a game-changer. Right.

Vanessa: You

Jaime: Are you running your dog for two hours because some encyclopedia breeds told you to do it? You’re, you don’t have a sheep herding Aussie, you have a home Aussie, you have a dog that lives at home with children. Okay. Right.

Vanessa: You know,

Jaime: That’s not what you have. You can’t treat them like they’re living a life that they’re not, he’s, he doesn’t herd sheep, he doesn’t do that. Right. Right. We need to give him things that are going to fulfill that mental stimulation category without overcooking your grits and making you feel like you are a sucker to this life that maybe you don’t even like, you know, like maybe you don’t even like going to the dog park. You’re like, oh, I feel like I need to do this because my dog needs the mental energy. But it’s not, it’s not what they need. They need to be at home, settle down, licking, biting, chewing, and creating serotonin in the brain without you being involved.

Vanessa: Yeah.

Jaime: It’s a solitary act where they’re just hanging out, and they’re chilling, and they take a nice nap. That’s what that looks like. That’s a peaceful life for a dog.

Vanessa: Yeah. It is a peaceful life for a dog owner, too. Yeah.

Jaime: Everybody else, it is a game changer, and people are like, oh, I’m spoiling my dog. I’m like, no, as long as they’re not getting over the amount of calories that they need during the day, you can manipulate their food into enrichment. There are so many things that you can do to make sure that you don’t feel like you’re spoiling your dog and you’re not breaking the bank. You shouldn’t be given three bully sticks a day. They’re expensive, first off, and that’s just too much. It’s not good for the belly., you know, there are other options, and that’s, that’s also included in the course is how to properly enrich your dog so they still feel like number one, when this kid comes home, and they’re still busy doing the thing that they love while you’re taking care of your baby and you feel like you’re a plus parent to both.

Vanessa: That’s so great. Jamie. Thank you so much. You, of course, will always be my go-to dog and baby resource for the podcast for sure. I’m sure that some listeners are going to reach out to you with questions. Where can people find you? Where’s the best place to do that?

Jaime: My website is https://www.jaimecaponetta.com/. My name is spelled weird, so it’s J-A-I-M-E-C-A-P-O-N-E-T-T a.com. My Instagram is at Jamie the dog trainer, J-A-I-M-E, dog trainer. then my podcast is all about dogs and babies and toddlers. that is called Pause and Pacifiers podcast.

Vanessa: Yes. I will link to all of that in the show notes for this episode.

Jaime: Oh. Then you can also find my book Stop Training Your Dog.

Vanessa: Side. Yes.

Jaime: Yeah. Yes, that is all about emotions and dog training as well, but that book has literally everything. It’s 315 pages. I just didn’t stop writing. Everything that was in my brain is literally now in that book. You can get a lot of really good information just from that book in general.

Vanessa: Awesome. We’ll link to it. Thank you so much, Jamie.

Jaime: Of course. Thank you for having me.

• Jaime Caponetta.com
• Jaime’s Instagram
• Stop Training Your Dog
• Paws and Pacifiers Podcast
• Save 15% OFF the Dog and Baby Bliss course This comprehensive program guides you through desensitization techniques, safe introductions, and provides everything you need a craft a loving relationship between your dog and baby. Join countless families in creating a harmonious, safe, and joyful home.

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