Overview

Pregnancy is an exciting journey, but it can also feel incredibly overwhelming. Today’s episode is inspired by a message from a listener struggling with the mental and emotional load of preparing for their baby’s arrival. If you feel overwhelmed, know you’re not alone. Between making important decisions and tackling a never-ending to-do list, it is easy to feel like there’s too much to do and not enough time to get it done.

In this episode, we will explore why pregnancy can feel so overwhelming and how to manage the stress that comes with it. Learn about decision fatigue, why even small choices can feel exhausting, and how to simplify your decision-making process. Get practical strategies to break tasks into manageable steps and set realistic priorities. Most importantly, you’ll learn how to take a step back, refocus your energy on what truly matters, and navigate this journey with more confidence and less stress.

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Article and Resources

Hi Vanessa,

I’m currently in my second trimester, and I’m feeling completely overwhelmed. I thought I’d be excited as I got closer to my due date, but instead, I feel anxious and exhausted. There is so much to do before my baby arrives. I am over analyzing every single item to put on my baby registry, I am still working on setting up the nursery, I need to figure out maternity leave, make sure I have everything I need, pack my hospital bag, make my birth plan, etc. Every time I check something off my list, ten more things pop up. I know stress is not good for me or my baby, and I am stressing out about stressing out. Is it normal to feel this way? I feel like I’m drowning, and I can’t enjoy being pregnant.

Sincerely,

Overwhelmed

Pregnancy is an exciting time but also a major life change. It comes with a long to-do list, many decisions, and lots of emotions. It is entirely normal to feel overwhelmed. On top of everything pregnancy-related, you still have to manage your everyday life. The good news is that there are ways to manage these feelings and make this time more enjoyable and less overwhelming.

Why Pregnancy Feels Overwhelming

One of the biggest reasons pregnancy can feel overwhelming is the sheer amount of responsibility that comes with it. You’re growing a baby, preparing for birth, and making important decisions about your health, your baby’s health, and your family’s future. Trying to filter through all of the information and to-do items can be exhausting.

There’s also the emotional side of pregnancy. Even if you are thrilled about becoming a parent, it is a significant transition. It is normal to feel a mix of excitement and anxiety. Under all of the to-do items and decisions that come with preparing for a baby, you are adjusting to the idea of becoming a parent, which is a massive shift. The key is finding ways to make things more manageable, so let’s discuss how to do that.

Decision Fatigue and Why Every Little Thing Feels Like a Big Deal

Pregnancy can feel so mentally exhausting because of something called decision fatigue. The idea behind decision fatigue is that your ability to make decisions is a finite resource. The more decisions you have to make, the more it can exhaust you mentally and reduce your ability to make good decisions.

It is estimated that an American adult makes 35,000 decisions a day. That sounds like a ridiculous number, but when you think about it, every little thing requires a decision. The moment your alarm goes off in the morning, you must decide whether to hit the snooze button, what you will choose to wear, what you decide to eat for breakfast, and whether you will check your email or reply to a text message. During pregnancy, on top of all the usual daily choices, you are also making big decisions about your health, your baby, your birth, and your future.

When faced with too many choices, your brain starts to shut down. That’s why even simple things, like choosing a stroller or deciding what to put in your hospital bag, can feel overwhelming. The best way to combat decision fatigue is to simplify your choices.

If you’re struggling with a decision, try narrowing your options. As you build your baby registry, instead of researching every car seat on the market, pick two or three and choose from there.

Limit Your Time

There’s a concept called Parkinson’s Law, which states that work expands to fill the time available for its completion. If you give yourself unlimited time to research a topic, you’ll likely spend way more time on it than necessary. To avoid this, set a specific time limit for your research. If you’re trying to find out whether it’s okay to drink Gatorade during pregnancy, give yourself five minutes. Don’t let yourself get sidetracked reading about sugar content, electrolyte balance, or potassium requirements during pregnancy.

You can allow a more extended block of time for more complex decisions but still set a limit. If you’re researching something and can’t find a clear answer within a reasonable time, add it to your list of questions for your doctor or midwife at your next appointment instead of continuing to dig.

Limiting your time also works well for shopping for baby items and building your registry. Instead of spending indefinite time comparing every stroller on the market, set a time limit, narrow your choices to a few good options, and decide.

Prioritizing & Breaking Tasks into Manageable Steps

Another reason you may feel overwhelmed is that everything on your to-do list feels urgent. The reality is, not everything needs to be done all at once. One of the best things you can do is break big projects into smaller, more manageable tasks.

Take maternity leave planning, for example. Instead of thinking, “I have to figure out my entire maternity leave,” break it down into manageable steps:

The first thing to do is to find out your company’s maternity leave policies. This can be accomplished by emailing HR or the person at your company who handles maternity leave and employee benefits or consulting your employee handbook. Rather than feeling overwhelmed about what is included, ask to meet with someone who can help walk you through it. Sitting down with your partner to decide how much time you want to take off can make the decision-making easier. If you need to plan to hand off projects or coordinate a co-worker to cover your job duties or shifts, sit down with a manager or co-worker who can work through it with you. None of these steps need to be completed in one sitting. By breaking things down, you’ll feel less pressure to tackle everything at once and more in control of what you need to do.

Dial in Your Birth Plan Without Overcomplicating It

Creating a birth plan is another big to-do list item that can feel overwhelming. You should know that you have already started working on this, even if you don’t realize it. You know where you plan to have your baby, like at a hospital or birth center. Plus, you have a general idea of what you want to include or avoid in your birth. Creating your birth plan is dialing in the details, and this is a process that happens as you navigate your pregnancy and prenatal appointments.

A surefire way to make creating a birth plan overwhelming is to start with a blank page and try to figure out what you should put on it. You do not have to reinvent the wheel here. The Pregnancy Podcast has a ton of resources that will make writing your birth plan easy:

  • Get a copy of my birth plan. (You can request a copy here.) This is the birth plan I created for my first birth planned at a birth center. I will also send you the backup plan I wrote in the event of a hospital transfer. While your preferences may differ, this can give you an idea of how it could be structured or worded.
  • The Your Birth Plan book walks you step-by-step through creating a birth plan. Most importantly, there is a master template that you can download and customize to your preferences. There are short sections with evidence-based information to help you decide your preferences from starting labor until you are home with your baby. Plus, there are sample plans from home birth to a planned cesarean and everything in between. Premium Members receive a free copy of the Your Birth Plan book. It is also available on Kindle as an instantly downloadable PDF.
  • If there are interventions that you are unsure about or want more information on, there is probably an episode of the podcast you can listen to and make a decision. To browse by topic, check out the episode guide. Premium members have access to the entire back catalog of episodes ad-free.

Outsourcing and Asking for Help

Another tip that is very easy to forget is that you don’t have to do everything yourself. If your to-do list feels too long, see what you can delegate.

  • Can your partner research baby gear?
  • Can a friend or family member help you set up the nursery?
  • Can your doctor or midwife answer a question instead of you spending hours going down Google rabbit holes?
  • Is there an episode of the Pregnancy Podcast that researches a topic for you?

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You are not in this alone. Lean on your support system to delegate tasks or enlist help to knock out to-do items.

Avoiding Information Overload

It’s easy to feel like you need to learn everything about pregnancy, birth, and parenting right now. But the truth is, you don’t. Focus on what’s relevant for the stage you’re in. If you’re in your second trimester, you don’t need to think about postpartum recovery yet. When you come across information you want to consume later on, flag it to revisit later when it is relevant.

If you want a simple way to stay on track, check out the 40 Weeks podcast. There’s a short episode for each week of pregnancy, so you get the right info at the right time. In about six minutes, you can learn how your baby grows each week and what is happening in your body. Plus, get a heads up on what to expect at your prenatal appointments and a tip for dads and partners. You can find 40 Weeks anywhere you listen to audio. Visit this page to sign up with your email and due date to get each week delivered at the perfect time in your inbox.

Take a Break

If you are feeling overwhelmed, take a step back. Take a break from listening to podcasts, searching for things on Google, or shopping for baby gear. Cutting back on your information consumption and focusing on something else can be a refreshing break from information overload. That could mean relaxing with Netflix, getting outside and away from your phone or computer, or enjoying quality time with your partner.

Keeping Things in Perspective

Every task seems critical when you are preparing for a baby. Often, we put a lot of focus on something only to discover later that it was not as big of a deal as we thought. While the nursery is a big to-do item, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that infants sleep in the parents’ room, close to the parents’ bed, but on a separate surface designed for infants, ideally for at least the first six months. It will be at least six months until your baby spends nights in the nursery. You don’t have to have everything figured out today. Take a breath, focus on what’s most important right now, and give yourself some grace. You’ve got this.

Additional Resources:

Thank you to the amazing companies that have supported this episode.

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