You only get a limited amount of time with your doctor or midwife during prenatal appointments, and a lot needs to be covered over nine months. This episode answers a listener’s question about feeling rushed at appointments and leaving with unanswered questions. Learn what a typical prenatal care schedule looks like, why visits often feel hurried, and how you can make the most of the time you have with your provider. Hear practical strategies to prepare in advance, ask effective questions, and advocate for yourself. Plus, how to explore your options if you are not satisfied with your care.

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30% OFF the Zahler Prenatal +DHA with code PREPOD30 and get a FREE Silicone Baby Bib. The Zahler Prenatal +DHA uses high-quality ingredients, like the active form of folate. Zahler also includes nutrients that most other prenatal vitamins don’t, like choline, omega 3s, and DHA. This is the prenatal vitamin I take and my #1 recommendation.

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Hi Vanessa,

Thank you for all of the amazing podcast episodes. I’m 25 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and I’m feeling a little frustrated with how rushed my prenatal appointments have been. I’m going to a large OB practice where I rotate between doctors, and the prenatal appointments are usually really quick. I always leave feeling like I didn’t get to ask everything I wanted to. When I do ask questions, I feel like I’m being brushed off. Is this just how prenatal care usually goes, or is it this particular practice? I don’t want to be annoying or take up too much time, but I also don’t want to walk away from appointments with unanswered questions. Do you have any advice to bring things up without being difficult?

Kristen

Kristen, unfortunately, your situation is not unique, especially when working with a larger practice. In helping thousands of expecting parents, I can tell you that this is a common frustration. Let’s discuss your questions and review some tips to help you get the best experience possible at your appointments.

How Prenatal Care Typically Works

Your prenatal visits with a doctor or a midwife follow a typical schedule. Your first appointment is around week eight, and visits are every four weeks for the first and second trimesters. Starting in the third trimester, at week 29, you will have an appointment every other week. For the last month of your pregnancy, you see your care provider weekly.

The length of each prenatal appointment can vary significantly by provider. Typically, your first appointment with an OBGYN is the longest and can last up to an hour. After that, appointments are only about 15 minutes or less. Different care settings or providers may have longer appointment times, and birth centers or independent midwives tend to allocate more time for each appointment.

Kristen, you mentioned that you are with a large OB practice and see different doctors. Rotating through providers gives you the chance to meet everyone in the practice. This is important because the doctor who attends your birth is usually the one on call when you go into labor. The downside is that it is harder to build a relationship when you don’t see the same provider each visit. There are also advantages to working with multiple doctors, such as gaining different perspectives and having broader access to specialists in case any high-risk issues arise.

Why Prenatal Appointments Can Feel Rushed

The reality is that prenatal care providers often have limited time to dedicate to each patient. Part of that is due to scheduling and the volume of patients. Every appointment follows an agenda set by your provider, which usually includes routine checks and may also involve tests or procedures. They often have certain topics planned for specific stages of pregnancy. You, on the other hand, are thinking about pregnancy and birth on a more flexible timeline. This can mean you want to discuss topics your provider doesn’t see as urgent yet. For example, if you’re 16 weeks and asking about birth, your doctor may set those questions aside because birth is still months away.

Your doctor is an expert in pregnancy and birth, and sometimes they may brush over topics they see as routine or straightforward. For you, these are new and important, especially if you don’t have a medical background. More parents today are educating themselves and want to take an active role in their care. Some providers are not accustomed to patients asking detailed questions or being involved in decision-making. In some cases, the challenge is not your questions; it is your provider adjusting to a more interactive style of appointment.

Strategies for Getting the Most Out of Appointments

Even with the limitations your doctor has, there are many things you can do to prepare and make the most out of your appointments.

In total, you can expect to have around 14 appointments throughout your entire pregnancy. The typical pregnant patient spends less than 5 hours with a doctor leading up to your birth. Save your time with your care provider for the topics only they can advise you on. If a nurse or an administrative staff member can answer your question or provide the information you need, please get in touch with them first. This includes scheduling prenatal appointments, addressing insurance coverage, and handling billing questions.

Know what to expect at your next visit. If you know a test, procedure, or vaccine is coming up, you can prepare by learning about it ahead of time. This not only provides a better understanding but also helps you discover options you might not have been aware of. It shows your provider that you’re committed to making informed decisions and allows you to have a more productive, higher-level conversation without needing your provider to explain everything from scratch.

A convenient way to stay informed about upcoming events at appointments is to listen to the 40 Weeks Podcast. In about six minutes, you can learn how your baby is growing, what is happening in your body, what to expect at your upcoming prenatal appointments, and a tip for dads and partners. If there is any topic you want information on, leverage the Pregnancy Podcast. You can utilize the search function on the website to find all relevant resources for any topic.

Asking Questions

Appointments with your doctor or midwife are your best opportunity to ask questions, and it can be incredibly frustrating to feel like your questions are being brushed off. Between appointments, keep a running list of questions and bring it with you to our next appointment. Put your most important questions at the top so you address them first, and consider sending them ahead by email if that is an option. If you receive a quick ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and want more details, you should ask for additional information. That is easier said than done, so let’s talk about a few tips to advocate for yourself.

Advocating Without Feeling Difficult

Kristen, I understand not wanting to be annoying, feeling like taking up too much time, or feeling like you are being difficult. Let’s reframe this. You are taking an active role in your prenatal care and want to make informed decisions for you and your baby. Not only is there nothing wrong with that, but you should be proud of it, and your doctors should respect that.

Having a one-on-one conversation with your care provider can be intimidating, especially if they do not answer your questions or address your concerns. If you need help advocating for yourself, bring a support person to your appointment. Ideally, your partner attends every prenatal appointment with you. Ask a friend or family member to join you if you do not have a partner. Having someone by your side can instantly make you feel less alone and empower you to speak up. If needed, you can even ask your support person to raise a question on your behalf. If you cannot have someone physically present, you can have them join you via FaceTime or on speakerphone.

One tactic to enhance your ability to advocate for yourself is to communicate with your doctor or midwife via email, phone, or text. Writing out your questions in an email or text gives you time and space to craft your message. Having a conversation over the phone may be easier than having a conversation in person.

Options if You’re Unhappy With Your Care

Kristen, since you are working with a large practice, it can be helpful to meet all of the doctors so the one on call for your labor won’t be a stranger. Once you meet everyone, you can request a specific doctor for your visits or ask not to see someone you did not connect with. If you continue to feel rushed, you can request a follow-up appointment to make sure your questions are fully addressed, or ask to be given a longer time slot for your visits.

Also, remember that you hire your doctor or midwife. You can also fire them and change your care provider if you don’t feel like you are getting the attention or support you need. If you are considering changing care providers, shop around to find the best option for you. You can always explore other options and stay with your current provider if you don’t find a better fit. Switching providers is easiest earlier in your pregnancy and can be more challenging further on. If you are in your second or third trimester, you still have options; you may need to cast a wider net.

Additional Resources

Thank you to the brands that help power this podcast.

30% OFF the Zahler Prenatal +DHA with code PREPOD30 and get a FREE Silicone Baby Bib.

It is challenging to meet your increased nutrient requirements during pregnancy with your diet alone. Taking a high-quality prenatal vitamin is one of the easiest things to ensure you have all the vitamins and nutrients you and your baby need. Zahler goes above and beyond to use high-quality bioavailable ingredients like the active form of folate, bioavailable iron, and omega 3s.

30% off valid through 09/30/2025. Code must be used with Apex Nutrition as the seller. Email your order number and mailing address to [email protected] for your free silicone baby bib. You can always see the current promo code for the Zahler prenatal vitamin here.