Finding out you are pregnant is one of the most exciting times of your life, but it can also feel like a lot. There are endless choices to make, and many of them involve gathering information, weighing options, or seeking expert advice. From choosing your care provider to planning for your baby, it is easy to feel pulled in a hundred directions at once. This episode will help you cut through the noise, tune into your priorities, and focus on what really matters most during your pregnancy.

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Why Pregnancy Can Feel Overwhelming

Pregnancy brings a lot of change all at once. Your body is transforming every day, your priorities are shifting, and your future plans are taking on new meaning. Your routines, your identity, and even your relationship with your partner are evolving as you prepare to become a parent. It is exciting and beautiful, but it is can also feel like a lot to process at once.

If this is your first pregnancy, there are a lot of unknowns. The more you learn, the more you discover what you don’t know. When I first found evidence-based information for pregnancy, it was like opening Pandora’s box. As soon as you dive into the research on one subject, it raises questions on other topics. You can quickly get stuck in a never-ending cycle of trying to learn about everything and stressing out over every decision, big or small. If this isn’t your first baby, the learning curve is shorter, but you have the existing demands of motherhood, and overwhelm can still happen.

Decision Fatigue

Decision fatigue describes the impaired ability to make decisions and control behavior as a consequence of repeated acts of decision-making. The idea is that your ability to make decisions is a finite resource. The more decisions you have to make, the more it can exhaust you mentally and reduce your ability to make good decisions.

It is estimated that an American adult makes 35,000 decisions a day. That may sound unrealistic, but everything you do involves a decision. When your alarm goes off in the morning, you must decide whether to hit the snooze button, what you will choose to wear, what you decide to eat for breakfast, and whether you will watch the news or check your email. Everything you do all day involves a decision. Some may seem on autopilot, but every decision takes mental resources.

Make It Manageable

Pregnancy is a major transition. You are adapting physically and emotionally, navigating prenatal care, planning your birth, and preparing for a new baby. Trying to think about everything at once is a fast track to overwhelm. The solution is to break big projects into simple steps. In the next sections, we will move through the arc of your pregnancy and identify specific ways to stay focused and feel less overwhelmed. Let’s start at the beginning of your pregnancy and move through some of the biggest areas that can take up your mental space.

Answering Your Pregnancy Questions

As soon as you find out you are pregnant, you will have a lot of questions, and you may second-guess routines that were once on autopilot. Capture questions as they come up in a notebook or notes app so you are not holding everything in your head. Some answers will come from podcast episodes. Some are best saved for a prenatal visit with your doctor or midwife. Others may require a bit of research. Rather than trying to tackle every question right now, focus on questions that are relevant now and save the rest for later. For example, if you just found out you are pregnant, you do not need to know about vaginal exams during labor. You do need to know what foods or activities you should exercise caution with.

There are some key episodes of the Pregnancy Podcast that will cover the basics and answer many of your initial questions.

• Pregnancy Basics: What to Know from the Start
• First Trimester Overview: Adjusting to Pregnancy and Early Changes
• Second Trimester Overview: From Baby Kicks to Body Changes
• Third Trimester Overview: Preparing for Birth and the Final Stretch

Use the search bar on the Pregnancy Podcast website to find episodes by keyword. If you can’t find what you need, email me and I’ll point you in the right direction. Pregnancy Podcast Premium members have access to the entire catalog of episodes on every pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and postpartum topic.

Choosing Your Doctor or Midwife

Choosing your care provider is the most important early decision. Your doctor or midwife will strongly influence your prenatal care and birth. This person is your expert guide, and you want someone who answers your questions and supports your preferences. Investing time up front to find the right fit is worth it. A good match now prevents frustration and time lost later.

Remember that you hire this person to be on your team. If you are not feeling supported, you can switch. It is easiest earlier in pregnancy because practices often have cutoffs for taking new patients. With that being said, please explore other options at any point if you are unhappy with your care.

Understand the Policies that Will Impact Your Options

Once you choose a provider, learn the policies and standard procedures of the practice and your birth setting. Policies shape default options such as routine interventions, movement in labor, eating and drinking, and newborn procedures. Understanding the defaults helps you decide where you want to follow policy and where you may prefer to explore an alternative.

Simplifying How to Evaluate Interventions

Once you understand that there are risks and benefits to every intervention and that you almost always have options, it can open the gates to feeling overwhelmed about making the right decision. A fantastic tool to evaluate any intervention, test, or procedure is the BRAIN acronym.

• B: What are the benefits?
• R: What are the risks?
• A: What are the alternatives?
• I: What does your intuition say?
• N: What happens if you do nothing?

You can use this framework during prenatal appointments, labor, and when making decisions for your newborn. Ask your care provider these questions directly, or use them to guide your own research. Evidence and data are important, but so is your intuition. Listening to both your head and your gut helps you make confident choices that align with your values.

Dial in Your Birth Plan

A birth plan is a powerful tool to get clear on what matters most. This is much more than a piece of paper you hand to your care provider. It is the process you go through to prepare for your desired birth experience. This is an exercise that you need to include your doctor or midwife in.

The goal of your birth plan is to highlight what truly matters, not to cover every possible scenario. Keeping your plan to one page helps you focus on your top priorities and makes it easier for busy staff to quickly understand and support your wishes. It can be tempting to include every detail, but when everything feels important, nothing stands out. A short, focused plan ensures your energy in the planning phase, and your care team’s attention during your labor, go toward the things that will have the biggest impact on your birth experience.

The Pregnancy Podcast has many resources to help you craft a birth plan:

• Become a Premium Member for a FREE copy of the Your Birth Plan book and access to every single episode ad-free
• Guide to Creating Your Birth Plan
• Get a copy of Vanessa’s birth plan
• Your Birth Plan book

Preparing For Your Newborn

Preparing for your baby can be one of the most exciting and most overwhelming parts of pregnancy. There are endless products to consider, and it can feel like every decision matters. Plus, you may have additional layers to making decisions that involve factors like safety, environmental impact, convenience, and budget. The truth is, you do not need everything you see on social media or every item on those “must-have” lists. With a little planning and prioritizing, you can save time, money, and mental energy.

Get Organized with a Baby Registry

A simple way to stay organized is to start a baby registry. Even if you do not have a baby shower, a registry keeps your list in one place and helps you track what you still need. Many registries offer a completion discount near your due date that gives a percentage off remaining items on your list. That can make a registry both an organizational tool and a money saver. Amazon is my favorite resource for building a baby registry, plus you get a free welcome box.

Use Balanced Sources to Choose Products

There are countless websites with the top ten list of every baby item. Use product reviews from trusted publications like Consumer Reports as a good starting place. Checking out reviews on websites like Amazon can be helpful. You don’t have to read every single review, but you may consider ruling out anything below 4 stars. Recommendations from friends you trust can also help you narrow your search for products. Once you find brands you like, you can stick within those lines rather than starting from scratch each time.

Prioritize the Big Items

If you feel overwhelmed, spend the most time and budget on big-ticket or high-impact items. This would include items such as a safe car seat, a crib and mattress where your baby will spend the majority of their time, and a stroller that you will use daily. Spend less time on small, inexpensive items such as bottles or pacifiers. You can always pick up those later. With diapers and a correctly installed car seat, you are ready to bring your baby home. The rest is helpful, but not critical on day one.

Tips to Stay Focused

Even with a plan, it can be hard to decide what deserves your attention right now. These strategies keep your focus on what matters.

Focus on What Is Relevant Now

You do not need to learn everything at once. Early in pregnancy, prioritize topics that apply now, like food safety and first-trimester changes. Save third-trimester topics, like inducing labor, for later. Flag resources to revisit when they become relevant. Pacing yourself prevents early burnout.

If you are unsure what is relevant now, the 40 Weeks podcast is a simple guide. Each short episode explains how your baby is growing, what is happening in your body, what to expect at prenatal appointments, and includes a tip for partners. You can find 40 Weeks anywhere you listen to audio. Visit this page to sign up with your email and due date to get each week delivered at the perfect time in your inbox.

Outsource What You Can

Ask yourself whether a question, search, or task can be handed off. Your care provider can often answer questions quickly. Your partner can research options and summarize findings. Trusted friends and family can share what worked for them. Save your energy and time for decisions and to-do items that truly require your input.

Avoid Rabbit Holes

A simple Google search can easily turn into hours of message boards and mixed advice. When you notice that you have more questions than answers, pause and reset. I have a few tips to help you from spiraling into rabbit holes that waste time and create more confusion.

Limit Your Time

Parkinson’s law is the idea that work expands to fill the time available for completion. If you give yourself a time limit to look into a particular subject, you are less likely to waste a lot of time searching endlessly and more likely to finish your task within the allotted time. If you want to find out whether it is okay to drink Gatorade. Give yourself five minutes to look into it. Don’t get sidetracked with reading about sugar, trying to find out if you are getting enough electrolytes, and what the potassium requirements are during pregnancy. Set a timer, find your answer, and get out of there.

For more complex questions or issues, you may want to give yourself a bigger block of time to look into it. Set a boundary, and if you cannot find an answer within a specified time frame, it goes on the list to ask your doctor or midwife. This tactic also works well when shopping for baby items. Give yourself a time limit to look for a particular item, decide, and move on.

Utilize Trusted Resources

There are endless sources of information on the internet that range on the spectrum from evidence-based to completely false. You need to find the resources that you can go to for trusted information. This limits your searching and information consumption from the entire internet to one or a few sources. Thank you for allowing me to be a source of information for you.

Your doctor or midwife should be your top resource for questions. Keep a running list of questions for and bring it to each prenatal appointment. If a question is brushed off or you do not understand the answer, ask for clarification. There is no such thing as a stupid question.

Here are a few resources I look to first for information:

I refer to the recommendations released by big organizations within the medical community. While everything is not always evidence-based, these organizations set the guidelines that most practitioners (specific to each organization) tend to follow, and it tends to be a good starting place for information and a reference for the most accepted policies:

• ACOG (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) is the largest membership organization for OBGYNs.
• ACNM (American College of Nurse-Midwives) is a professional organization that represents CNMs (certified nurse midwives) and CMs (certified midwives).
• AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) is the largest pediatrician organization
• La Leche League and Kelly Mom are my go-to resources for breastfeeding information. You can find additional breastfeeding resources here.

Trust Your Gut

Strong feelings are useful signals. If something matters to you or your partner, make space for it. You do not need to justify every preference with data. If you care deeply about a specific stroller, choose it. If it is important to you that the first voice your baby hears after birth is yours, communicate that to your team and partner.

What to Do When You Feel Overwhelmed

In addition to all of the navigating, planning, and preparing you are also experiencing all of the physical, emotional, and hormonal changes that come with pregnancy. Even with good systems, overwhelm will happen. That is okay and completely normal. Here are a few tips for what to do when you feel overwhelmed.

Take a Break

If you are feeling overwhelmed, take a break. Step away from podcasts, Google searches, and social media for a bit. Information overload is a thing, and cutting back on your consumption can be refreshing. Get outside, move your body, or enjoy time with your partner. A short pause often brings clarity and helps you see the issue with a fresh perspective when you return.

Keep Things in Perspective

Every decision seems critical when you are responsible for growing, birthing, and caring for a baby. There will be topics you spend a lot of time and energy on, only to discover later that it was not as big a deal as you thought. When a decision feels heavy, too time-consuming, or overwhelming, here are a few questions you can ask:

• Will this matter in the future?
• In three months, will I regret or even remember this?
• Is this permanent, or can I change my mind later?

Very few decisions are permanent. You can only make the best choice with the information you have right now. Progress always beats perfection.

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